WTF: Guide Me Lord…Into A Salon

Fundamentalist evangelical Christians are easy targets for the WTF bad album art flame thrower. They are so convinced by their own rhetoric that it never occurs to them that the REST of the world is snickering, nay, CACKLING at them for their misguided musical exploits. Even in more recent times than when THIS abomination hit the shelves, bands like Creed get big laughs for their squeaky-clean, but ultimately misguided antics.

At least Creed has the decency to attempt a veneer of cool–you’d be fooled for about thirty seconds until you heard the singer’s decidedly non-angsty voice croaking out those high school home room-penned lyrics about sin and salvation. THESE ladies on the other hand, aren’t having any of it.

Could this be a pre-post-modern statement of galactic size? This album prefigures Devo’s “Through Being Cool” by many years but it definitely embodies the central theme of THAT classic. These are women who have carefully constructed an image guaranteed to keep men, women, and some farm animals from expressing ANY interest, sexual or otherwise.

Guide Me Lord by the Joyful Sounds should be framed and displayed fifty feet high as an object lesson to all who see it. And that lesson is this; If you follow Jesus, please follow him to a STYLIST and OBEY the word of the Lord when he says “Thou Shalt Not Frighten Your Audience With Thy Epic-Fail Hair.”