WTF Album Covers: Morrissey Get Rich Or Die Tryin’

When the PR spin doctors couldn’t live up to the courage of their convictions with the original gun-totin’ 50 Cent image for Get Rich Or Die Tryin’, they took the most spineless, cheesy route possible to save their wretched little movie–they swapped the gangsta thuggin gun visuals for the pic on the left–Curtis Jackson holding a cute little tyke instead.

“Awwww” you say. “Just look at that sweet little kiddo! Curtis Jackson might carry a pistol, but at least he won’t let the kid use it as a pacifier.”

It was shameless. It was corny. It worked. Even though poor 50 Cent had to endure the shame of the sort of spin doctoring usually reserved for Republican senators caught with their hands on the interns, he not only ended up no worse for the wear, he might have actually become a major influence for older, less relevant crooners who can’t…quite…command…the attention of the media and buying public the way they used to.

Case in point: Morrissey, who could be the very very first case of “me too” crossover from alt. rock to hip hop imagery. Is Moz trying to score points with 50 Cent’s audience? Is this the very first “aging rocker versus rap” feud? Perhaps Morrissey and Fiddy will engage in some kind of DJ battle, rap-off or…um, croon-off.

Probably not. But it would be damn amusing if they did. Behold Morrissey’s attempt to cash in on the baby pic image, which is somehow as disturbing as the possibility that he might try to guest-rap on the next 50 Cent single.

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Elephant Stone The Glass Box EP

When this seven-track vinyl EP by Elephant Stone arrived in the post, I knew I was in for something good. For starters, the band makes sure to point out in the press materials that it’s an analog recording. 2-inch tape to 1/4 inch before it got onto vinyl.  My kind of recording aesthetics, those are.

Then there’s the record itself. If Shindig! magazine doesn’t get wind of this to further spread it to the masses, I’ll be very disappointed. The Elephant Stone Glass Box EP is chock full of psychadelic jangly pop that does indeed call back to the swirly, radio-friendly pop psychedelia, without being at all annoying about it.

Some of these genre-influenced bands get weighted down by their own musical obsessions, but in Elephant Stone’s case, it’s more about taking an influence and making it your own rather than aping it by rote down to the waistcoats and matching hairdos.

There’s some top-notch songwriting and playing on tracks like the moody Lies, Lies, Lies and the perky Strangers. On the B-side, Yesterday’s Gurl is an excellent slice of yearning with a great hooky Smithereens-style guitar riff tying the song together. Has to be said, 360 Degree Music has done well in adding Elephant Stone to the roster; this band provides a completely enjoyable listening experience–not a single bummer song on the vinly–and that’s no easy feat.

That said, the final cut Dhun (available for free on the Elephant Stone official site)  is a total departure from the rest of the EP. It’s probably not the first track you should hear if you’re trying to decide whether to buy.

Instead, go to Pardon My Hindi and stream the Strangers and Savage Soul cuts–great stuff and totally representative of the band. Then you’ll know why you should buy this record now.
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Einoma “Tvenna” Vinyl EP: Icelandic Electronica

Icelandic electronica has always sounded wonderfully alien to me, and the Tvenna EP by Einoma is no exception. This is excellent stuff, a lovely cocktail of ambient, minimalist textures kept in line with beats that are just dancey enough to put you on the floor if you’ve had enough Viking Lager.

It’s wrong to use the “a” word to describe this record, though. The very word “ambient” leads some to imagine mindless, directionless keyboard noodling. Boredom on wax. Tvenna is NOT that, not by a long shot. Tvenna–like so much Icelandic electronica–has the same audio qualities of Iceland itself. There’s a chill in the air, the wind outside is howling across the lava fields, but the heater’s on and the alcohol is good.

That’s actually a bit of cliche when it comes to describing Reykjavik’s electronica scene, but so be it. I’m an outsider, and having lived two years in Iceland I truly believe just as California and Texas climates have unique effects on bands in those areas, Iceland’s midnight sun, sunless afternoons, and high winds definitely make their mark on records like Tvenna. So sue me.

Einoma is a duo–Bjami Þór Gunnarsson and Steindór Grétar Kristinsson, who have been recording in Iceland on a number of labels. This limited edition EP is a delicious slab of vinyl, and me personally, I’d love to get my hands on some of these trax individually (bass, drums, textures all separate)  for remix purposes.

If you’re into the dancey minimalist electronica sounds coming out of Iceland, Belgium and elsewhere far away from America, I strongly urge you to have a listen to Einoma. Currently, I’m doing a bit of “browser core” mashup fun with the samples at the official site–I’ve got two sample tracks playing over the top of one another, and it’s making for some unique brain-swelling the artists never intended. Try it, it’s fun!

Exorcist II: Electric Boogaloo

I can’t help it, I love 70s cheese, and this is by far some of the cheesiest I’ve seen as of late. Listen to that music! Damn…my favorite part is the cornball little new wavey splash/splat after the chorus girls stop singing. “Skashhhhhhhhhhhhh”. Brilliant.

Here’s the trailer in all its’ wretchedly goofy glory. Remember, kid, this one stars James Earl Jones, Richard Burton, and Max Von Sydow–an all star cast. Darth Vader, the guy who played chess with Death, and Bluebeard together–what a hoot. I wish we could go back to the time that these movies were released, when people still thought the Devil was scary. Of course, all you have to do is look at those clothes to know just how misguided they really were–Satan was the least of their problems. Unless your name was Linda Blair.

Funki Porcini Zombie 12-Inch EP

This 12 inch by Funki Porcini is one of my favorite pieces of vinyl. Inspired by (and sampled from) the Lucio Fulci undead classic Zombie, Funki Porcini’s 12 inch opens with the last thing you hear in the movie–the hambone radio announcer’s newscast. “I’ve just been informed that zombies have entered the building. They’re at the door! YEARRRRRGHHHH!”

Priceless.

This album is a great collection of beats. Perfect for chilled out late night listening with the lights turned down to “seduce” and the atmosphere on “bachelor pad”. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED…if you can find it, that is. And sorry, my copy is NOT for sale.

A completely UNRELATED clip by Funki Porcini here, this is just as atmospheric and cool, and the vid is excellent as well: