WTF Album Covers: Chaino

It totally defies description or explanation. Suitable for framing, pondering, and head-scratching. WTF does this sound like? Who cares? It demands to be purchased on the strength of its weirdness alone:

WTF Album Covers: Hot Human Barbecue

Maybe we’ve seen too many Italian cannibal movies, but it really does look like Brother Jack McDuff is gnawing on part of a human torso here:

WTF Records: Emphasis on Nut?

Sure, the title is supposed to be a riff on nutrition, but it’s more fun to intentionally misconstrue it as some kind of bad-taste insanity thing. Plus there’s a slightly creepy photo montage optical illusion going on in this pic that makes it seem a lot dirtier than it really is.

Read The Label

I found this at SteveCarter.com, and while the first-glance impression of this Wayne Newton LP cover is funny enough all by itself, reading the label of the LP makes the image even more priceless:

If the writing on the LP is too small for you even with your bifocals on, (and it IS too small, for sure) you will be amused/revolted to know that the LP title is “Bowel And Bladder Training”. I really, really, REALLY don’t want to know, but feel compelled to own this just the same.

And if you REALLY NEED a vinyl record to tell you about bowel and bladder training (whatever that is) I weep for you. Truly.

–Joe Wallace

WTF Records: Frank Valdor Dynamic Party Sound

Yet another record I was foolishly prepared to dislike at based on some of the marketing art–a man seated with his trombone coming at you like Dirty Harry’s 44 Magnum–I’m actually about to purchase the Frank Valdor Dynamic Party Sound LP because the tracks are so fantastically retro-lava-lamp-swinging-hepcat-organ-groovy.

I discovered this at the wonderful blog, PCL Linkdump, which also had a Youtube clip that hooked me pretty good. It’s just a shame that the track below the next image is NOT on that album…but if the rest sounds anything like this, the retro junkie in me is hooked.

 

 
–Joe Wallace

WTF Records: Shock by the Creed Taylor Orchestra

I was NOT prepared for how creepy and awesomely weird this vinyl record album is. Shock by the Creed Taylor Orchestra is sort of like a Mario Bava film on LP, that is really the ONLY way I can describe the cuts I’ve heard so far.

Maybe I’m impressed with this because I was expecting to hear utter, unimaginative crap–it’s the inverse cool theory or record album packaging. The more crazy hype the album cover has, the less likely it is to be interesting to cool. In spite of how not-understated this album cover is, the record comes off as being groovy, hep-cat, and sinister at the same time.

The cuts are miniature scenarios, with some sound effects, a bit of audio manipulation, and some really late 50s/60s-era Italian soundtrack sounds thrown in for good measure. Think “Blood And Black Lace” as filtered through Creed Taylor’s sensiiblities and you get what I mean.

Check it out for yourself:

 

P.S. I just discovered a most interesting blog called Scar Stuff, which has a wealth of information about this and two other records recorded in the same vein. It turns out that “Creed Taylor” is none other than film composer Kenyon Hopkins.
 
–Joe Wallace

WTF Records: Manfred Sings Love Songs

When trying to sell your new album, it’s vitally important NOT to have a cover which looks like it was assembled by a committee of kindergarten-age head trauma patients:

Never mind the shoddy presentation of this album, kids–this geezer is singing his love ballads in a NEW ACCENT! Hold on to your zippers, it’s gonna be a long night!

WTF Album Covers: Loggers Loving Loggers

In the 60s, lots of so-called manly album covers wound up looking more like unintentionally homo-erotic ones. Here’s a great example, crammed full of “we didn’t mean that” double-entendre song titles.

In hindsight, how ELSE can you interpret a song like Whistle Punk Pete or There Walks a Man? If “whistle punk” isn’t some kind of euphemism for a rent boy, what is? Somebody get George Takei on the phone and ask him what HE thinks a whistle punk is good for.

It must be understood that unlike Rick Santorum, we have no qualms with homo-eroticism. No, the comedy value here is the exact opposite–people trying SO VERY HARD (ahem) to present a “manly” image that they wind up flying in the complete opposite direction. When you’ve got tunes on your record like Sick of Settin’ Chokers and Fire Danger, what else are we supposed to think?

Then again, maybe that’s the point–are loggers privvy to a secret side of their industry the rest of us don’t know? Maybe it’s a sexual free-for-all in those woods and the rest of us are missing out. A record like this definitely gives the game away…maybe you’d like to hitch a ride on the log truck? Now everybody SING: “I’m a lumberjack and I’m O.K……..”