After Vinyl Road Rage ended its too-brief Nashville phase, it only made sense to move along to Memphis to plunder the record stores there. Memphis Tennessee Record stores are, based on what was found there, basically awesome and well worth investigating.

The first stop in Memphis was Goner Records, located in a fun alt-culture district on the aptly-named Young Avenue. One look at Goner from the outside and I knew it was going to be great.

For starters, they have a nice collection of music-related print matter, books and mags that you probably didn’t stop in for but will want to look at anyway. Very hard not to be tempted there…but the vinyl selections were calling so the printed stuff had to wait. And with good reason.

For a collector of weirdness on vinyl, Goner is a gold mine.

Spotting the “soundtrack” to L. Ron Hubbard’s abysmal Battlefield Earth book was a surprise–it truly is one of the most godawful vinyl records of all time and here it is in all its glory at Goner. Bravo.

I dropped a nice packet of cash on the weird records, to be sure. But the usual suspects are all waiting for you, too…no shortage of great titles in all the genres you want to explore…and I must add there was a fairly impression collection of Ohio Players titles when I was there.

The store itself is laid out well, fun to shop and has great atmosphere–something I’d find sorely lacking on the next leg of the Vinyl Road Rage journey once hitting Arkansas. Needless to say, you won’t have that problem in HERE.

There are plenty of great places to shop, record store-wise, between Bloomington, Indiana and Arkansas, but I have to say, Goner Records was one of my favorite. That could have been clouded by finding so many bizarre record titles in one store, or it could have been that Goner reminds me of some other now-gone shops I’ve been to in Texas…either way this is a must-return store for me and you’ll probably feel the same way after a visit.

If you’re interested in learning more about my vinyl finds at Goner Records during Vinyl Road Rage, have a look at the video clip below, I mention Goner and the other most excellent Memphis record shop, Shangri-La Records.

Staggeringly poor taste? Misguided attempt at controversy? Or bad timing? According to several sources, this album cover for Party Music by Coup was accomplished before September 11, but that didn’t stop the FBI from taking a look. Coup were cleared of any perceived wrongdoing, but the mere existence of this imagery is enough to send Tea Party rebel flag flyers into a fit of apoplexy. To me, it’s just another cheesy album cover–but what POORLY TIMED CHEESE indeed. The story goes that this artwork was accomplished only a few months before September 11. Creepy.

This is not the official artwork for the album–the image above was yanked after 9/11, but it’s still what comes up when you shop for Party Music by Coup on Amazon.com. And that makes it a bona fide WTF moment for me, at least.

But according to the blog Whole Lotta Album Covers, the official album art is much more clever–and more subversive. The subtlety on THIS album cover puts 99% of their peers to shame. In an era filled with excessive goofiness on hip-hop & rap covers, the official cover for Party Music is definitely a breath of fresh air:

UPDATE: Not more than three hours after I posted this, magically Amazon has the official album art on display now instead of the controversial 9/11 cover that was originally designed, then pulled. Did I have anything to do with that? Who knows, but I AM amused…greatly amused.

The cover is a riff on a Herb Alpert album cover that was popular in the day, for reasons that should be fairly obvious. Even my parents owned a copy. But then again, they also owned the soundtrack to Victory At Sea, so I shouldn’t be very surprised.

And then there’s THIS:

Warhol biographies say two models were used to shoot the cover image–the zipper unzips to reveal another crotch clad in boxer shorts–and nobody was definitively told whose (covered) junk it is. Hope that doesn’t keep you up at night…some sources say Warhol actor Joe Dellasandro and Warhol boyfriend Jed Johnson are the crotches in question.

But for the Spanish release of Sticky Fingers, a less “pornographic” cover was required…so what THOSE lucky stiffs got was this vaguely Burroughsian (to me) cover…

The original Spanish edition of Sticky Fingers, in addition to the alternate cover art, omits Sister Morphine (can’t imagine why, heh). Some sources say the Warhol zipper cover had its problems in some American chain stores because of the prominent outline of the model’s junk.

Seeing a prominent bulge in a pair of jeans was apparently was enough to send some uptight dingbats into a frenzy of moral outrage. People were dumber back then.

–Joe Wallace

Bored Housewife are a lo-fi punk band from Belfast. This album cover for “Too Horny To Sleep, Too Tired To Wank” is definitely a major winner for the band if they have the following goals:

1. To sell NO ALBUMS

2. To actively encourage people NOT TO BUY THIS ALBUM

3. To show the world just how indifferent they are to their own music.

The philosophy that’s always informed a band’s inclusion into the Turntabling WTF Bad Album Cover Hall of Shame is that an album cover has one important purpose–to sell the music and make people interested in hearing what’s on the record, CD, etc.

Sometimes that’s accomplished by making the album mysterious–a solid color field or deliberately non-representational artwork. Sometimes the artwork is so complex that it takes ages to figure out just what the hell is happening on the cover.

And then…there’s crap like this. I gotta hand it to them, they’ve certainly conveyed that the band doesn’t give a toss.  What? That’s NOT what you were trying to say at all? Well, stranger, from a newcomer to your music…

I hate to be the arsehole in the room about stuff like this, I really do. The real tragedy about this particular album cover is that if they had just left off the stick figure and let the cover fly with JUST the grungey cardboard/particle board packaging it would have been 100% more effective.

But I’m just this dumb vinyl junkie, what do I know?
Oh, I am FULLY AWARE that this is NOT a vinyl record, but I couldn’t help myself. I fully expect to get an outraged comment or two from someone near or in this band saying how I “don’t get what Bored Housewife is about or I’d appreciate this cover” but hey, folks–it’s YOUR CAREER. Ruin it however you want. I’m just a guy who likes to make fun of bad album art. Totally harmless to the likes of you.