Tag Archives: bad metal

WTF Album Covers: Wrong On So Many Levels

This installment of WTF Album covers is brought to you by racism, bad taste, and misguided youth. We present you three eyeball-searing album covers that beggar logic and make us seriously reconsider whether music is a good thing or not. “Do you like music?” Well, WE do, but the people who made these album covers clearly DO NOT.

This particular series was discovered at the COMPLETELY awesome site Glorify The Turd, which as far as website names go is one of the greatest in history. Normally we try to avoid sourcing images like this, but Glorify The Turd has some of the most truly obscure and brain-jerkingly horrific album covers that we couldn’t resist paying tribute to them here with these three starting with a quartet of truly misguided born-again metalers.

The fine print there at the bottom reads, “This album is dedicated to those who have not yet received the Lord Jesus Christ as their Savior. We’re Coming.” Oh dear. One thing this bunch of born-again Klangmeisters does have going for it is a bit of rare multi-culturalism.  But the hairdos and stage clothes have GOT to go. These lads have been shopping for their gear at Forever 21, as evidenced by the polka-dot dude here on the bottom right. Nice one, man–raid your little sister’s wardrobe AND tell me about Jesus.

Next, a move in the opposite direction. These gents aren’t into JESUS…they want to go a bit further SOUTH:

Um…res ipsa loquitor.

Your attention might not be directed to the bottom half of this album cover, but you’ll discover the REAL HORROR of it once you detect the bobbing head. OK, I’ll be the first to say it (maybe not). If our society is going to evolve past its racial tension problems, we have to progress to the point where we are either not afraid or or hurt by at all of the N-word or any other slur or nickname, or NOBODY GETS TO SAY THEM EVER. It’s one or the other, folks.


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WTF: Stryken First Strike

WTF bad album covers Stryken First Strike

Bad album covers? Jesus knows all about them. These poor, misguided born-again heavy metalers forgot to ask the lord for guidance when trying to sort out the artwork for this album cover. Because if they had, it’s almost a dead cert that God (or Satan, for that matter) would tell them NOT to put their own goofy faces on this OR risk being sued by Throbbing Gristle for stealing that band’s lightning logo.

These guys so desperately want this to be a photographic version of the Kiss Destroyer album cover that you can practically hear the conversations now. “NO! Shoot it AGAIN! It doesn’t look like DESTROYER, not even close. We KNOW they’re Kids In Service of Satan, but we REALLY want to be as cool as they are. Oh, please mister photographer, don’t make us look any more effeminate than we already do with the Freddie Mercury pouts and eye makeup.”
Continue reading WTF: Stryken First Strike

WTF: Pantera Doesn’t Want You To See This

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I admit it, I have a thing against a lot of the hair metal and post-hair band metal albums. Let the reader beware, it all sounds like the Cookie Monster with a backup band to me. With that caveat in mind…

Once upon a time, the name Pantera was synonymous with large music industry dollars…or so it seemed, anyway. They were EVERYWHERE. You couldn’t see for the forest of Pantera concert shirts, and if you asked anybody in a truck stop ANYWHERE what they listened to, it was inevitably, “Payanterrra”.

Where are they now? Who cares? To some of us, this sort of record sounds like this:
Continue reading WTF: Pantera Doesn’t Want You To See This