This Youtube video breathlessly announces that you can, thanks to Makerbot, now create your own 3D printed vinyl records. Exciting, eh?

But it’s clear that something is not quite right at the start of this video…but one tends to suspend disbelief since vinyl junkies and home recording maniacs (Ok, ME) reaaaaalllly want this to be true.

Sadly, you watch, you come to the awful realization that this is a heartbreakingly cruel April Fool’s joke AND you get Rick-rolled in the bargain. You’ll feel violated. Amused, but violated.

Like Fox Mulder, this video hurts because I WANT TO BELIEVE! Makerbot, you wound me…(cue the sappy string music and begin swooning in disbelief here.) Yes, they got me. They got me good. You win THIS round, Makerbot…but I defy you to make this happen FOR REAL. Heh.

After Vinyl Road Rage ended its too-brief Nashville phase, it only made sense to move along to Memphis to plunder the record stores there. Memphis Tennessee Record stores are, based on what was found there, basically awesome and well worth investigating.

The first stop in Memphis was Goner Records, located in a fun alt-culture district on the aptly-named Young Avenue. One look at Goner from the outside and I knew it was going to be great.

For starters, they have a nice collection of music-related print matter, books and mags that you probably didn’t stop in for but will want to look at anyway. Very hard not to be tempted there…but the vinyl selections were calling so the printed stuff had to wait. And with good reason.

For a collector of weirdness on vinyl, Goner is a gold mine.

Spotting the “soundtrack” to L. Ron Hubbard’s abysmal Battlefield Earth book was a surprise–it truly is one of the most godawful vinyl records of all time and here it is in all its glory at Goner. Bravo.

I dropped a nice packet of cash on the weird records, to be sure. But the usual suspects are all waiting for you, too…no shortage of great titles in all the genres you want to explore…and I must add there was a fairly impression collection of Ohio Players titles when I was there.

The store itself is laid out well, fun to shop and has great atmosphere–something I’d find sorely lacking on the next leg of the Vinyl Road Rage journey once hitting Arkansas. Needless to say, you won’t have that problem in HERE.

There are plenty of great places to shop, record store-wise, between Bloomington, Indiana and Arkansas, but I have to say, Goner Records was one of my favorite. That could have been clouded by finding so many bizarre record titles in one store, or it could have been that Goner reminds me of some other now-gone shops I’ve been to in Texas…either way this is a must-return store for me and you’ll probably feel the same way after a visit.

If you’re interested in learning more about my vinyl finds at Goner Records during Vinyl Road Rage, have a look at the video clip below, I mention Goner and the other most excellent Memphis record shop, Shangri-La Records.

In the 80s, “Home taping is killing the record industry!” was the battle cry of many suit-and-tie candyassed record company execs who felt threatened by a bunch of teenage kids trading cassettes of their favorite vinyl records.

Sound familiar?

Today’s version of that whiny nonsense has culminated in the Stop Online Piracy Act or SOPA for short, plus its evil cousin, the Protect IP Act or PIPA.

The biggest pro-SOPA/pro-PIPA crybabies include the MPAA and RIAA, who have caused plenty of grief for musicians in the past with their blinkered, pee-pants fears of piracy, file sharing and the like. They basically seem to hate any activity that doesn’t result in the cash registers chiming.

That sounds a bit extreme, a bit knee-jerk reactionary, to be sure. But it’s an impression that can’t be avoided in an age where six-figure lawsuits are brought against college kids for file sharing in their dorm rooms.

Here in Chicago in a measure totally unrelated to piracy, SOPA, or the alphabet soup agencies, rumor has it that one elected genius tried to introduce legislation that would make the sale of used CDs illegal.

Why?

With news like this, plus reports of the MPAA crying over the blackout of websites in protest of SOPA/PIPA as an “abuse of power”, it gives me great pleasure to see a resurgence of attitude against legislated censorship (which SOPA and PIPA clearly would bring).

The sad thing about all this is that the hue and cry that brought SOPA and PIPA legislation into being has more to do with the fact that these record industry dinosaurs (who are so afraid of the 21st century verision of home taping) are basically making their final bleating cries as they sink into the music business La Brea tar pits.

The dinos are going down, but they keep on bellowing for dear life.

Once upon a time, Steve Albini wrote, “The future belongs to analog loyalists. Fuck digital.” And now, after MP3s, file sharing and all the rest, damn if he didn’t turn out to be exactly right, albeit in a sort of collector-y way. MP3s and the collapse of the CD market have driven people back to vinyl. Which proves a point.

File sharing, piracy, and the rest of the yellow underwear issues the MPAA, RIAA and the corporate giants are afraid of? They all drive people back to buying music. Actual purchases. Let the file sharing kiddies have their illegal Metallica and Britney Spears downloads. The rest of us–people who actually BUY music, and GOOD music to boot–are still spending money in spite of the sharing.

None of this is news, not to us. But these record industry types need to take a weekend to wring the urine out of their trousers and re-think. Not that they will. They NEVER will. In fact, they’re just going to keep sitting there in their own piss, shivering in fear that another 99 cents won’t be spent on the brain-dead utterances of 50 Cent or Adele.

And they are right–crap music will be pirated forever and ever, because somewhere deep down inside, even the most vacant, uncritical fan of what I call Hollywood-core knows they shouldn’t spend money on that shit. Piracy? No, friends, let’s call it what it is–EVOLVED PURCHASING HABITS. People spend money on Radiohead records offered for “whatever you wanna pay”, they shelled out for Nine Inch Nails four CD sets after getting a full album of the stuff for nothing.

Those stunts–which WORKED–coupled with the piracy of USELESS, STUPID MUSIC should tell us something, shouldn’t it?

This post is perhaps not terribly safe for work. You have been warned.

I am a follower of author William Gibson on Twitter, and recently he mentioned finding 8-track tape erotica at southern truck stops. The very idea of this was mind-numbing. Could such weirdness actually exist?

Apparently it’s not enough to get naughty videos and vinyl records. Somebody decided there was DEFINITELY a market for dirty goings on delivered via eight-track tape.

The concept seems so odd that I became obsessed with seeing them for myself. What do these things look like? Who buys them? What on earth do they get out of them? Well, that’s a totally stupid, harebrained question as we all know what you get out of them.

But looking at the packaging for 8-track tape pronorama makes me think that the very last thing on earth these would do is turn somebody on. Thinking of somebody producing smut for an 8-track audience doesn’t make me envision high production values…it makes me visualize a corrugated tin shack somewhere with a Radio Shack microphone dangling from the ceiling while a couple of 19-year old high school dropouts force out grunts and wheezes between shifts at the local In-N-Out Burger.

No pun intended.

I mention all that to say that after being turned on (heh) to the concept of 8-track tape erotica, I actually found some images of these no doubt classics of the recording industry:

And according to William Gibson’s Twitter posts, if I read him correctly you can STILL PURCHASE THESE DAMN THINGS as under-the-counter, on-the-sly finds in the deep south.

Let me repeat, I am certainly no prude–you should be able to listen to any damn thing in any old format you want as long as your eyes are on the road and BOTH HANDS are on the wheel. But these can’t POSSIBLY raise so much as an eyebrow, can they? Not having heard them, I’m guessing they’re as erotic as a reading of De Sade’s 101 Nights Of Sodom by Ted “Lurch” Cassidy.

You might not know a damn thing about Ernest Tubb, but by the time you leave the record store you’ll have gotten a quick education about the man and his work in the era when the music industry supported “both kinds”, country AND western.

For those new to Nashville, it becomes clear that Broadway is the street where a good chunk of country tourist attractions are located, including the Ernest Tubb store. It’s kind of hard to miss once you get near 417 Broadway:

Once you get inside, you enter a world of 100% pure country music, nostalgia for “the good old days” of AM radio, those huge microphones, and ten gallon hats. It may be Ernest Tubb’s record shop, but it’s hard not to think of the other crooners when you see the decor. Gene Autry springs instantly to mind; the ghosts of Dale Evans and Roy Rogers are hard to shake in here.

Almost as if store organizers know this is happening, there are constant reminders all over the store about Tubb and his work.

You wouldn’t be wrong in thinking of this place as a sort-of museum for music as enjoyed in the pre-internet, AM radio era. It’s fascinating to think about what these recording artists would make of today’s totally decentralized music landscape as compared to the “only game in town” type environment they worked in so long ago.

One interesting sign of the times–the Ernest Tubb Record Shop doesn’t have a staggering collection of records.

Compact discs far outnumber the vinyl, or at least that’s the impression you get looking around the shop. There’s only one section of vinyl records to browse through, and the official site pushes the CD format very hard. No vinyl at all mentioned on the front page. For vinyl junkies this is practically sacrilege, but perhaps it’s more about what the tourists want.

And what they likely want is some souvenir of Ernest Tubb without having to lug around 12 inches of vinyl all day.

So the Ernest Tubb Record Shop might have a bit of a misleading name for vinyl purists and collectors, but really the store isn’t set up for the vinyl junkie. It’s all about the Cult of Tubb.

If you’re into the mystique, the myth making and the ghost of a music genre that doesn’t really exist like that any more, this shop is definitely a must-see. You won’t need a TARDIS to go back in time here.

–Joe Wallace

PS: I regularly update the WTF Records Facebook page with bad records and news of progress on the WTF book. Why not join me there? You can also get snark and vinyl obsessiveness by friending me on my personal FB page. which doubles as the Turntabling FB presence.

And if you happen across this post to find these albums already sold out, please have a look at the Turntabling Collection for sale via Discogs.com. There are also select titles from the Turntabling Collection via the Turntabling Etsy shop.

The latest for-sale additions to The Turntabling Collection include the following must-have vinyl LPs:

Halloween II Soundtrack LP by John Carpenter

John Carpenter’s sequel to the original creepy classic is every bit as good, but in totally different ways. This soundtrack LP is highly sought after and with good reason–Carpenter couldn’t really go wrong at this stage in the game.

If you haven’t seen the movie in a while, have another look. Donald Pleasence is fantastic as the obsessed Dr. Loomis, and he really winds up giving the business to The Shape at the end–one of the most memorable takedowns in horror movie history.

Plan 9 From Outer Space Soundtrack Vinyl LP

How FUN is this record? For some Ed Wood fiends, you’ve got an instant party when you drop the needle. But the album sounds are only part of the fun. The packaging for this includes Bela Lugosi glowering at you from one side of the record, and Tor Johnson grimacing from the other.

So yes, this record is suitable for framing. As much as the idea makes some collectors cringe, it’s certain there ARE people out there who would rather display the Plan 9 From Outer Space soundtrack album on the wall instead of taking it for a spin on the turntable.

It’s hard to blame them when you see Lugosi’s face on the record, it really is…

The Glove Blue Sunshine Vinyl LP (SEALED)

It’s probably rare enough that you’d find a copy of this in decent condition to begin with, to find a SEALED copy of Blue Sunshine by The Glove is pretty amazing. This collaboration between The Cure’s Robert Smith and Souxsie and The Banshees’ Steve Severin is essential listening.

If you liked either group, The Glove is a worthy footnote in the history of both acts. If you aren’t convinced, there are several YouTube clips to sample, here’s just one of them–a great collision of Souxsie/Cure styles.

The first stop on the cross-country record store road trip we call Vinyl Road Rage was a familiar one--Landlocked Music in Bloomington, Indiana.

Bloomington is a great place to be if you’re a fan of good record stores, indie music, and weirdness overall. Landlocked Music has plenty of that–mostly found in the used soundtracks, ambient/experimental, and miscellaneous record sections. It’s easy to become a big fan of Landlocked as they’re open to a lot of musical craziness both genre-wise and in terms of format.

I found a nice selection of cassette-only projects which always makes me happy. I think today’s cassette culture people are totally nuts and I can’t imagine releasing anything on tape, which is why they are totally awesome to have around.

It’s good to see people fighting conventional wisdom so hard–AND making an interesting success of it as near as I can tell. Shine on, you crazy cassette people. (PS-I would love to know about cassette-only projects for coverage here. It’s just too retro not to do! Get in touch.)

Landlocked Music has a wonderful experimental/avant garde section that definitely needs a look if you’re a fan. I always gravitate toward the soundtrack/miscellaneous categories first as I’m a rabid collector of weird vinyl in the last couple of years.

While it’s true that I’ve covered Landlocked before, they deserve a second mention. Not only is the selection great, well-organized and fun to browse, but the staff are friendly and fun, too. The best record stores seem to have people who get it–the old cliche about folks being too cool to talk to you doesn’t exist at the really good shops I’ve found time and again.

Personality goes hand in hand with selection and Landlocked has both. Always approachable, never pretentious, and full of surprises (one visit I spotted a vinyl cutter on display and apparently for sale…) your opinion of Indiana as a vinyl destination will change after a stop here, rest assured.

Honestly, I wouldn’t go on and on about how fun and easygoing this shop is if it hadn’t been for some of the truly bizarre and unpleasant experiences I had at other shops on the road trip. When you find the awful stores, it makes places like Landlocked Music seem even more noteworthy.

Join me on Facebook as I’m quite active there and am always glad to make new friends–especially those obsessed with vinyl. Also, you can become a fan of the official Facebook page for my upcoming book WTF Records: The Turntabling Guide to Weird and Wonderful Vinyl.