by Joe Wallace

The Vinyl Killer, known in some places as the Mini Clubman, is said to absolutely wreck any piece of vinyl it’s placed on. I have no idea if that’s accurate or not, but in this particular case we simply MUST believe it’s true because there’s no more deserving vinyl title than effing HOOKED ON CLASSICS. That’s one album that truly needs to be sandpapered into oblivion forever and ever amen.

The Vinyl Killer is basically a moving turntable needle with a mini-speaker. You place the car on the record and watch it drive around and around playing the album with varying degrees of quality and speed. It’s pretty funny in this context, but I’d keep it far away from that rare copy of the Phenomena soundtrack if I were you.

So with that in mind, I bring you this YouTube clip of the Vinyl Killer winding its way around Hooked On Classics, in hopes that the toy really and truly is wrecking those grooves beyond repair.

I have to say, the record actually sounds BETTER with the warbling, screechy sounds the Vinyl Killer ekes out…this is closer to noise music than 80s throwback awfulness:

Compared to the original release, this clip sounds AWESOME.