The $650,000 Turntable

I am told that this Dereneville VPM turntable, by AV Design Haus, is priced at $650,000. Deutchmarks or dollars? Does it even matter?

Is this the most expensive turntable ever built? If it’s not, it probably was at one time. But with all that fine, precision German-built analog attention to detail, can it really compare to the ultra-high tech wonder that was my first record player ever?

Really, no amount of $650,000 high-tech inventiveness could ever create the thrill of discovery comparable to what I had as a kid plopping down this Power Records vinyl (see below) down on the Close ‘n Play and hearing the psuedo-Morricone Italian crime soundtrack music blasting out of those crap speakers.

I realize now that the music on the following clip was the gateway drug for my now-insatiable soundtrack collecting obsession when it comes to Morricone, Stelvio Cipriani, Piero Umiliani and others. Strange that you can pin down a lifetime of music obsessions to a single, very obscure record heard as kid:

P.S. The story on the Batman: Stacked Cards vinyl is HILARIOUS. Listen all the way to the end to hear Batman ruminating that a frontal lobotomy could return The Joker back to “normal society”! Hell, yeah–let’s save time and bother and lobotomize EVERYBODY!

–Joe Wallace

WTF Records: Cerrone 3 Supernature

No, I haven’t got a damn CLUE what’s going on with this album cover. But isn’t that the best part? Trying to guess what was going through the minds of the people responsible for this is half the fun! See if you can guess what kind of record this is by looking at the album cover–no fair researching it on Google you cheaters! Is this 70s-era hard rock? Experimental farm animal acapella? Brian Eno-inspired ambient drones with an emphasis on medical jargon?

Nope. Wrong on all fronts. Take a listen to this via the clip below and marvel at how totally disconnected that cover is when viewed  while listening to the actual music. Whaaaaaaat?

Makerbot, YOU BASTARDS!

This is probably common knowledge in much of the vinyl community and I’m just really really late in discovering this (as usual), but no matter. It’s NEW TO ME and that’s what really counts here.

This Youtube video breathlessly announces that you can, thanks to Makerbot, now create your own 3D printed vinyl records. Exciting, eh?

But it’s clear that something is not quite right at the start of this video…but one tends to suspend disbelief since vinyl junkies and home recording maniacs (Ok, ME) reaaaaalllly want this to be true.

Sadly, you watch, you come to the awful realization that this is a heartbreakingly cruel April Fool’s joke AND you get Rick-rolled in the bargain. You’ll feel violated. Amused, but violated.

Like Fox Mulder, this video hurts because I WANT TO BELIEVE! Makerbot, you wound me…(cue the sappy string music and begin swooning in disbelief here.) Yes, they got me. They got me good. You win THIS round, Makerbot…but I defy you to make this happen FOR REAL. Heh.

On Mr. Bungle

There are many reasons to obsess over the work of Mike Patton, not the least of which is his love of insane songwriting, Italian cinema, and maximum chaos. But for every fan of Patton, there’s an army of people out there who just have no…idea…what kind of madness awaits.

This article on Patton’s early work in Mr. Bungle is just what a newcomer needs to learn the ropes. It will become instantly clear as you read this whether you should run-not walk-to the nearest record shop to find your new obsession OR run away screaming for the safety of a Josh Groban record.

Some will cry blasphemy, but round here the California record is a huge favorite–probably because that was the gateway drug to the rest of Bungle-land. But no matter. Mr. Bungle, Disco Volante, and California are all records worth checking out. And that’s one of the things that makes a seasoned, jaded collector truly jealous–you can ONLY experience Mr. Bungle for the first time ONCE. So if that’s you, TREASURE IT.

There should be a brain-wipe machine so you can repeat those first-time ever experiences again and again, truly.

Oh, and:

WTF Records: ELP Go Gibb

This album cover would make a LOT MORE SENSE if it had the words BEE GEES on it somewhere.

Should I Buy A USB Turntable? Turntabling Reader Questions

Turntabling gets reader questions about vinyl, turntables, DJ gear and more, so it seems only right to answer them for all to see to spread the knowledge–or in this case, opinions–to help other people with the same issues.

One recent reader question came in asking about USB turntables. As in, “Should I buy a USB turntable?”

Transparency alert–I own nothing but USB turntables except for one or two consumer models like the one you see here to the left.

My current turntable of choice based on price, purpose, and performance is the Audio Technica AT-LP-120-USB. It’s got a pre-amp for DJing (which adds to the overall weight and heft of the damn thing), switchable output, variable tone control and other things I like.

Is it the BEST turntable out there? No, but it’s the one I currently own three of and I have no complaints. But back to the question. Why a USB turntable?

Well, for no other reason than that’s the way the industry is going. Yes, you certainly could avoid going USB if you reallllly wanted to, but most people seem ready and willing to digitize at least some portion of the vinyl collection and USB is the way to go for that, unless you really want to use those RCA plugs into an analog-in interface to your Mac or PC. Some desktops do have such interfaces built into the sound card…

I’m naturally biased in favor of the USB-in because let’s face it, if you’re going to MP3 anyway there’s a certain amount of audio loss you’re going to live with and if you’re really into audio fidelity, perhaps you should stick with listening to the vinyl records themselves.

There’s a lot to be said in favor of music portability.

SHOULD you buy a USB turntable? It depends, really. Is your old gear on its last legs? Or is your current gear functioning well? Are you happy with your current setup? If so, you could simply purchase a USB interface like the ones Numark makes to run RCA cable into a converter box with a USB out. These start at about $35-$50 and would be more cost effective than buying a new USB turntable in many cases.

Here’s one such Numark product

There’s a stereo line in plus a dedicated phono line in. You can also use this as a line OUT from your computer into a mixing board to run audio into a mix.

So if you are happy with your current setup, consider adding the converter box instead–there’s no need to shell out for another turntable unless you simply want one that will plug into a laptop or desktop PC apart from your stereo setup.

That’s my preferred method of converting–if I didn’t already own six turntables I’d purchase a separate one strictly for converting vinyl to MP3.

–Joe Wallace

PS. Ask YOUR question by leaving a comment or by e-mail: editor (at) turntabling (dot) net

WTF Records Zine Debuts

Turntabling quietly released the first issue of WTF Records: The Turntabling Guide to Weird and Wonderful Vinyl for sale on Etsy last week. The first issue, along with issue #2 will also be available for purchase at the Turntabling booth at our appearances at Capricon 32, Horrorhound Weekend, Cinema Wasteland, and Days of the Dead Atlanta.

The zine–which is NOT a replacement for the WTF Records book, which is now in the photography stage–was up for sale for about 24 hours before it was getting orders and, a little bit later, positive reviews like the one at One Minute Zine Reviews, who had really nice things to say about Issue One.

And while we’re talking about One Minute Zine Reviews, if you’re into indie press pubs, zines and the like, OMZR is a really well done labor of love that also features a radio version–the first time I’ve ever heard of zine reviews being done on the air and syndicated to boot! Great stuff indeed.

So the cat is out of the bag–Turntabling has gone into print with our WTF Records zine, which is a supplement to the site and features exclusive, print-only content not found here or at our Facebook page.

Many thanks to One Minute Zine Reviews for all the kind words, and if you are a zine publisher and want to submit your zine for consideration at One Minute Zine Reviews, send all material to DJ Frederick at 36 West Main Street Warner NH 03278 USA.

As always thanks for reading…

–Joe Wallace

Memphis Tennessee Record Stores: Goner Records

by Joe Wallace

After Vinyl Road Rage ended its too-brief Nashville phase, it only made sense to move along to Memphis to plunder the record stores there. Memphis Tennessee Record stores are, based on what was found there, basically awesome and well worth investigating.

The first stop in Memphis was Goner Records, located in a fun alt-culture district on the aptly-named Young Avenue. One look at Goner from the outside and I knew it was going to be great.

For starters, they have a nice collection of music-related print matter, books and mags that you probably didn’t stop in for but will want to look at anyway. Very hard not to be tempted there…but the vinyl selections were calling so the printed stuff had to wait. And with good reason.

For a collector of weirdness on vinyl, Goner is a gold mine.

Spotting the “soundtrack” to L. Ron Hubbard’s abysmal Battlefield Earth book was a surprise–it truly is one of the most godawful vinyl records of all time and here it is in all its glory at Goner. Bravo.

I dropped a nice packet of cash on the weird records, to be sure. But the usual suspects are all waiting for you, too…no shortage of great titles in all the genres you want to explore…and I must add there was a fairly impression collection of Ohio Players titles when I was there.

The store itself is laid out well, fun to shop and has great atmosphere–something I’d find sorely lacking on the next leg of the Vinyl Road Rage journey once hitting Arkansas. Needless to say, you won’t have that problem in HERE.

There are plenty of great places to shop, record store-wise, between Bloomington, Indiana and Arkansas, but I have to say, Goner Records was one of my favorite. That could have been clouded by finding so many bizarre record titles in one store, or it could have been that Goner reminds me of some other now-gone shops I’ve been to in Texas…either way this is a must-return store for me and you’ll probably feel the same way after a visit.

If you’re interested in learning more about my vinyl finds at Goner Records during Vinyl Road Rage, have a look at the video clip below, I mention Goner and the other most excellent Memphis record shop, Shangri-La Records.