In the 1980s, America was gripped in such a wave of conservative nonsense that any idiot could write a book about Satan, rock music, and witchcraft and it would somehow sell. Brain-dead religious right charlatans and/or nutters like Bob Larson, Jacob Aranza, and the infamous Peters Brothers were doing a brisk business in books about Satanic messages hidden in that evil rock and roll music.

The best part about all of these books–and the most telling–are their sections about “backwards masking”. This delightfully hysterical non-crisis was generated by preachers who spent a good deal of time turning records backwards on their turntables, listening for the Devil’s messages.

Even better-the right wing hysteria made bands get into the act and perpetrate their own actual, for-real backwards masking messages. Did they do it just to screw with the Christies? ELO not once, but TWICE threw a bone to the Bob Larsons of the world with the albums Eldorado and Secret Messages. Kiss’s Gene Simmons–then seemingly eager to bait Christians into some new madness– recorded some backwards messages on his solo record. There were plenty of others, to be sure.

Well, now that I’ve purchased an Audio-Technica AT LP 120 USB turntable, I’ve taken to revisiting some of these hilariously wrong-headed books. (I was all about them when I was in high school for vastly different reasons–caught up in my own small town religious kookiness–don’t worry, I got better).

See, the Audio Technica AT LP120 turntable has a delightful function–it plays in reverse, no finger-turning needed to uncover those Satanic messages. I plan to go through the whole of my catalog to listen for the Devil’s commands…I thought I’d start off by listening to Eno’s Music For Airports and work my way to the first Air LP.

Yeah, those records are all instrumentals. But Satan is a TRICKSTER, you see. He could have hidden messages in there backwards ANYWAY. And that’s the same kind of logic you’ll find waiting for you in ANY of those book titles displayed here.

If you’ve never read these books, I strongly urge you to do so…if for no other reason than to see the minds at work behind yesterday’s goofy right wing thinking. Which is pretty much the SAME thinking at work in TODAY’S goofy right wing thinking.

Don’t believe me? Check THIS crap out:

This website is called Dial-the-Truth Ministries. In addition to being grossed out by their anti-Obama hysteria and general Bronze Age fire and brimstone stupidity, can I REALLY be the only person who sees the disconnect in a WEBSITE called DIAL the Truth? I think not. But it never occurred to THEM, apparently.

Here’s a total howler of a site with a page called Satan’s Music. Prince, Queen, and apparently for some reason the Dixie Chicks are all apparently in service of Our Dark Lord Lucifer. Even the cute one.

Did you know that Emo is unethical for born againers to listen to? Oh yes, kiddies. You are all going to kill yourselves now.

Those are only three examples. Share your own in the comments section, and don’t forget kids…YANKEE ROSE.