Yes, I own one of these. No, it is NOT pro DJ gear or high end audio equipment. The ION USB turntable is basically just a tool to get your vinyl converted to MP3s quickly and without too much fuss. When I do actual DJ work, I prefer to spin the vinyl records themselves in addition to my digital library of sounds, but for travel I enjoy plenty of converted albums thanks to the ION. They just are NOT going to release those hilariously corny (and quite fun) born-again Christian new wave albums by Steve Taylor, Servant, or The Seventy-Sevens on CD, and if they have, I predict they will sound wretched compared to the vinyl. Why I have an affinity for those particular releases has a lot to do with why I love those old Isaac Hayes disco records and the Mystic Moods Orchestra, but that's another story for another time. The ION is under a hundred bucks, gets the job done with software included and keeps me traveling with all the hardcore evangelistic new wave quaalude music I can stand. Why born-again Christians ever thought that futuristic quiffs and syncopated synth fills could disguise the fact that they were trying ...

It's not OFFICIALLY the world's most expensive record needle, but at 10K, the Clearaudio Goldfinger is squarely in Donald Trump territory. Sold by NeedleDoctor.com, the Goldfinger is 16 grams of pure gold, with a boron cantilever. Are you going on one knee for some sweet, sweet DJ? Don't waste your cash on one of those useless finger trinkets sold in shopping mall diamond shops, get this bit of precious metal instead. It's functional, it's beautiful, and it probably sounds like nothing on earth. Too bad it costs nearly as much as you'd get selling a kidney. What's the first thing you'd play after scoring one of these? For my money, it would have to be the More Beer album by FEAR. Just kidding.