Happy Thanksgiving 2009.We bring you the biggest turkey we could find–and what a steaming pile it is, hands down the most ridiculous album cover seen in weeks. Is the name of this band CHICKEN? Or is the name of the record “Chicken Coup de Ville”? Never mind all that, behold the SPECIMEN on the cover here.

What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is an honest-to-godzilla redneckity MULLET in all its repugnant, ill-advised 90s glory. This poor slob is clearly ready to audition for the part of A) backwoods Arayan Jesus,  B) Billy Ray Cyrus lookalike, or C) NASCAR crash test dummy.
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And let’s not overlook the fact that Johnny Deliverance here appears to be COMPLETELY NAKED. Fresh from a turn in the sheep pen, Johnny? Or perhaps you’re just having a peek at the ladies’ outhouse? The constipated look on his face seems to indicate that he’s NOT QUITE DONE with whatever it is that’s going on in the picture.

This album cover is definitely an argument AGAINST “creation science” and FOR a hideous kind of mutant reverse Darwinism where the slowest dim-witted knuckle draggers somehow clawed their way to the top of the heap. At least in the context of successful marketing of an album. Let’s never forget, children, that the purpose of the album cover is to make a potential fan actually WANT to hear what’s inside. This one makes us want to find the parents and sterilize them.

Don’t get us wrong–we don’t HATE the poor slobs who made this album. No sir. But such a high level of straight-faced ridiculousness gives us a major case of the snarks. If you don’t want your album cover ridiculed from sea to shining sea, it pays to put a few more seconds of thought into what you’re doing. Right, Johnny?