There is no nice way to say this. Our latest entry in the WTF bad album cover artwork series has so much wrong with it that the LEAST of this record’s worries are the sexual connotations of the title, “Jesus Use Me.” I hear a gospel A&R rep scrambling to the phone to answer for this gaffe, sweating profusely and trying to make nice. “Honest, chief, they meant well, they really really did!”

Now you know where Steve Albini got the inspiration to call his post-Big Black group Shellac. Look at these hairdos! No wonder they named this record after their secret lusts–they were high on the fumes from ten gallons of hairspray and Bondo.

Creepier than the religio-sexual underpinnings? The MATCHING OUTFITS. When a band decides to GO UNIFORM, they usually do it in some kind of flashy Beatle-esque manner. Not these churchly chicas—they raided the thrift store Grandma section and begged their phtoographer to make them RITUALLY UNAPPEALING.

I am DYING to hear what this album sounds like, but I bet I already know–warbling, off-key three part harmonies and one singer with a perpetually stuffy nose. It would be cute if it weren’t so horrifying.

Sorry, folks, we don’t have this gem for sale…but if I ever find a copy, I will snap it up and put it on sale here instantly. Really.