Tag Archives: born again album covers

WTF Album Covers: Satan Has Been Paralyzed

..and REALLY ought to consider a lawsuit.

Seriously, is this guy a contestant on The Price Is Right? Born-again Christian preachers clearly know nothing about how to design album covers. But then again, neither do their polar opposites:

Somebody PLEASE call the record company version of Doctor Kervorkian. It’s time for Van Halen to die as a musical entity. Please.
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WTF: Count Your Blessings

wretched album art count your blessings

There’s so much wrong going on here it’s impossible to know where to begin. For starters, the album is by Willie Sutherland. So which one is Willie? They BOTH look like they just got out of an afternoon of shock therapy to cure them of “unfortunate tendencies” towards unchurchly behavior–probably attending R rated movies or wearing provacative beachwear. Can you picture either one of these yokels wearing a speedo? Perish the very idea.

And what’s with the TIES? Are we getting this album done between shifts working for Col. Sanders or what?

Then there’s the inclusion of the child, precariously wobbling on the pew, waiting for the inevitable head injury. Count your blessings? You mean like being able to get this photo snapped before the tragedy? The worst part of ALL this is the track list. It’s nothing but a bunch of copyright free church hymns you’re already forced to sing every Sunday if you’re goofy enough to haul your ass out of bed to hang out with these dorks. So what’s the incentive to BUY this record?

My favorite part about this cover? The sunglasses. I don’t know why, but it makes me think of Twin Peaks–the Horne brothers scheming away at One-Eyed Jacks. Just look at that smarmy face, already thinking about things far away from this awful album cover. Maybe reposessing a trailer house or sneaking off to to naughty things to the 17-year old prom queen working at the Tastee Freeze.