It’s one thing to get a goofy, horrifyingly dated album cover to poke fun at. It’s another thing to get practically the same damn cover by two different artists about a DECADE apart. Moe Bandy’s record came out in 1974, the John Bult album is said to have been released in 1985. Bad ideas never die, they just move to different honky tonks.
I forget which punk rock album or ad campaign said it first, but I shall paraphrase here. Jerry Falwell is dead and it’s a damn good thing. But before he went, he inflicted this album cover on the unsuspecting public. No, this is NOT an ad sheet for the original Night of the Living Dead, but it would be very easy to mistake this horrid LP cover for such a thing.
Sorry zombie fans, but this is a Jerry Falwell album, and while Falwell is so blinded by religious fervor that he can’t see that the dead are right there in front of his pudgy little face, he wasn’t so giddy on Jesus that he forgot to include a handy explanation of the album for anyone (make that EVERYONE) confused by the album cover. That fine print on the left there explains, “A comprehensive message delivered by Dr. Jerry Falwell” with “beautiful special music” supplied by some other weenie. WTF is “beautiful special music”?
Probably the kind played with an extra dose of hate for those naughty unbelievers and people who laugh loudly at horrible album covers like this. Yeahhhhhh.
–Joe Wallace
Continue reading WTF Bad Album Covers: Jerry Falwell Where Are The Dead?
Our very first WTF bad album cover since Vinyl Road Rage! Don’t worry, there are plenty more Vinyl Road Rage record store review posts coming, but this week we resume our normal posts, too…and WTF bad album covers are piling up all over the place faster than I can write them up and post them.
First I’d like to say that from a visual perspective, I think this band was much better when it was called Alice In Chains. Maybe they THINK they’re Alice In Chains, but one listen to the tracks off this album and you’ll be begging for Layne Staley to dig himself out of the ground and throttle these guys to death with his bare zombified hands.
This is yet another in a long parade of nu metal “mad faces” album covers, but honestly, the cover makes it look like the mad faces are due to the fact that the hair salon won’t take them as walk-in clients rather than some kind of teeno-angst mongering.
I couldn’t figure out what it was that made me think this Static-X album cover is so wretched until I realized that the mad face dude with his mouth open (catching flies, no doubt) makes this cover look an AWFUL LOT like that Devil’s Bris album by Voltaire.
Richard Dawkins needs no additional proof. When he says “There is no God” he is looking right at THIS ALBUM COVER by The Simmons, who clearly do NOT have the touch of God helping them to pick out their clothes.
The real burning question about this album cover for me is this; how many sofas had to die to make these clothes? And the gents in this picture are clearly in love with safety orange as a fashion statement. Does ANYBODY look good wearing safety orange in a non-ironic way?
This album is another brick in the wall of evidence that there is actually NO INTELLIGENCE responsible for our wretched existence on planet Earth. If there IS a God, he she or it needs to DO something about the people who put out album in her/his/its name. The fashions are atrocious, and if JESUS dresses like this, I’m buying a one-way ticket to the OTHER place. I can’t in good conscience serve a God who lets its followers go out in public like this. I mean REALLY.
–Joe Wallace
Continue reading WTF Album Covers: The Simmons Need the Touch Of God in their Laundry Basket
