You know which way THIS pizza party is going when you read the word “accordion” underneath Joe Biviano’s name. That’s right, there may be plenty of pizza, but this is NOT what the cool kids would call a party. More like everlasting torment. Pray for death, it’s the only way to escape what’s next when the needle drops.

Or, I suppose, you could just leave. But what kind of lasting statement would THAT make?