In my never-ending quest for horrifying album covers, I often stumble across wonderful blogs like my source for the above brain-scarring vinyl terrorist attack called Tubby Boots Goes Topless. The great Eye Of The Goof is so deliciously retro (in the tiki and lounge sort of way rather than a retro 80s or futurist 60s sort of approach) that I feel compelled to return to Hawaii to purchase an armload of tiki carvings and some grass skirts.

To be fair, in my quest for Tubby Boots Goes Topless, I also ran across the equally great LP Cover Lover, so this was a mini-dilemma in terms of who to give credit to…but it doesn’t matter–both blogs are excellent and well worth a read. Now to Tubby Boots…

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It’s probably not completely fair to include Tubby Boots Goes Topless in my usual WTF snark–this guy clearly isn’t taking himself seriously, so there’s no clueless factor to poke fun of.

That said, my brain reels in horror at the image seared upon it now forever and ever and ever. When I die and go to whatever awaits me afterwards–no matter if that is oblivion, Nirvana, Hades, heaven, or Grandpa Satan’s spiritual colostomy bag–part of my soul will still be screaming to have this image burned out of my consciousness or lack of it.

I’m not sure what’s worse–the tassels, or those DRAPES. Equally horrifying in my book. And let’s not overlook those TROUSERS which are clearly designed to drag your eyes kicking and screaming downwards toward the Tubby Boots HOSE OF HORROR stashed somewhere in those voluminous threads.

Tubby Boots has inflicted this image upon us all, and I sincerely hope he is made to pay dearly for his crimes–perhaps a staff position working for Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh, where he might approach the same mental agony as I’ve personally suffered with repeated viewings of this album cover.

I confess a horrid fascination with the LP cover on display here–it’s a LOT like those awful cookbook food photos–you know the ones, with the orange meatloaf and cakes with the sickly pinkish tinge.