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Top 10 Reasons Vinyl Records are Better Than MP3 Downloads

January 27, 2009 editorial, snark 9 Comments

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Vinyl records vs. MP3s? I own them both. Why are album versions of records better than their MP3 counterparts? The digital Black Flag vs. the original SST Black Flag recordings? Naked Raygun on your iPod shouldn’t sound much different than the vinyl record of the same album, right? Can you find Big Black on MP3? Here’s a a little list:

10.  You can’t accidentally delete a vinyl record. However, your cat may urinate on it. That won’t affect playback…unless you have friends over.

9. You don’t get the nice big cover art off an MP3 download. This doesn’t matter much for modern releases, but for those old, elaborate LP releases or soundtracks to sexy Italian horror and “sexual awakening” movies, big covers are nice. Especially for those Piero Umiliani soundtracks. There’s nothing more fun than a cheesy sexy 60s era album cover, is there?

8. Nobody tries to sue you for making a CD-R burn of some old dusty record in your collection. They’d love to try, but the RIAA would get laughed out of court faster than Rod Blagojevich proclaiming his innocence. Nice try.

7. Unlike an MP3, you can shatter a vinyl record and use the pieces to gash somebody in face when they make fun of your pants.

6. In Shaun Of The Dead, the heroes tried to kill zombies using 12-inch singles. Try doing that with an iPod and you’ll join the ranks of the undead faster than a screaming teenage girl in a filmy white nightgown.

5. George Carlin comedy albums just plain SOUND BETTER on vinyl.

4. You can actually clean a record album with soap and water. You can clean an iPod by…BUYING A NEW ONE.

3. Stores with high theft issues should stock vinyl. You can hide an MP3 player in any body cavity. An album tends to stick out of the most obvious places. Painful, too.

2. Vinyl records are better than MP3s because you can play them backwards and get the messages Satan wants you to hear. Try doing THAT with a downloaded version of Ashford & Simpson’s “Solid as a Rock”.

1. When you get bored, you can safely microwave an LP, put it on the turntable and play it for laughs. Put an MP3 player in the microwave and it will explode. Need we say more?

Currently there are "9 comments" on this Article:

  1. Cover art is #1 in my book

  2. Toke says:

    Try rolling a joint on an iPod, doesn’t work so well, does it? But you can roll a nice spliff on an LP cover.

  3. Dalton says:

    You can play an mp3 backwards, you can put the album art on your iPod or if you really want just print it out. You can’t delete one, but it doesn’t take a whole lot to break one. If the guys in “Shaun of The Dead” had as many iPods as they did vinyls the iPods would have been way more effective. Not that an iPod is an mp3 download anyway, its a player. Grow up and move out of the 60′s, there’s a reason this technology is basically extinct.

  4. Joe Wallace says:

    Hi Dalton–yes, you CAN play an MP3 backwards, but to hear the hidden messages from SATAN, it has to be on vinyl. The Devil is afraid of new technologies.

  5. vizionheiry says:

    I’m a new collector and still trying to figure out why or even if I prefer vinyl. For me, it is the tactile experience. Yet it is that very same tactile experience that makes it time-consuming.

  6. Joe Wallace says:

    I’m a big fan of the tactile experience…that artwork is just so much more impressive at LP size than CD size. Plus, CDs smell funny.

  7. marc says:

    This article is complete shite – where are the real reasons you musical heathen???

  8. Joe Wallace says:

    Here’s an idea–why don’t YOU write an article about the top 10 vinyl vs. MP3 reasons and submit it to Turntabling? I’m not kidding–put your money where your mouth is :-)

  9. Joe Wallace says:

    What’s the matter? All mouth and no trousers?

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