Bad Album Covers: Cattle Decapitation Humanure

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by Joe Wallace

Maybe it’s not fair to kick a band when its down. After all, Cattle Decapitation is cookie monster metal and at first glance there’s absolutely NO deep thought going on with songs like “Bukkake Tsunami“.  First impression? This is a band not reaaaallly putting a lot of time pondering artistry here from the get-go, so why pick on the poor schmucks for a tastelessy ridiculous album cover?

It’s sort of like yelling at the dog for wanting a bone. He’s just acting like a dog, the poor beast, he can’t help it, and neither can Cattle Decapitation. “Hey guys, let’s call this record Humanure! And on the record we can debate issues of moral relativism, industrial decay and its effects on the human spirit, and perhaps sing a few lines on the merits of boycotting Chilean sea bass. Awww, what the hell, let’s just do another record about poop-eating like we always do.”

Even as a doody joke, the album cover for this just…isn’t…cutting it. Maybe that’s because I keep trying to apply common sense rules about marketing music, album cover aesthetics and using the cover to sell the CONTENTS OF THE RECORD. That’s pretty pointless when dealing with a band writing songs like Cloacula: The Anthropophagic Copromantik. COPROMANTIK?

Who am I kidding with this one? It’s a locker room joke on a 12.5 inch piece of cardboard, nothing more, nothing less. Maybe it’s the cow ass that bugs me. Yeah, that’s it–a totally unnecessary bovine anus depiction right in your spotty little face. Yuck.

***UPDATE*** So on closer inspection, I have to admit that I was a bit unfair in the “No deep thoughts going on here” department–Cattle Decapitation actually do transcend the usual cookie monster rock metal nonsense to make a few social statements…these guys could be considered the cookie monster metal version of Tool  (without the heaping helping of Crowley). But that album cover is still grotty. Cow ass indeed! I modified this post slightly now that I see this band a bit more clearly. Continue reading Bad Album Covers: Cattle Decapitation Humanure →

Chicago Record Stores: Reggie’s Record Breakers

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Reggie’s is an unusual place–located at 2105/2109 South State Street in Chicago, this is a rock and roll venue, a bar and grill, and home to Record Breakers, the indie vinyl and CD store located upstairs. It’s a dangerous thing for a record collector to stop at the bar on the ground level BEFORE buying the vinyl–you’ll stagger up the stairs and back down much lighter in the wallet.

Record Breakers is a great place for new collectors–you can fill a lot of gaps in your collection if you’re looking for punk, post-punk, and soul. It’s not so great for soundtrack fiends like me, as the selection is pretty grim. I was happy to see a decent assortment of Chicago Wax Trax! era titles but really bummed about the soundtracks. The lack of a weird/unclassifiable section was a disappointment, but definitely not a deal breaker for the newcomer to vinyl.

I’d recommend Reggie’s for the full experience–don’t go and just record shop, take the whole scene in. A nice change from the standalone store, to be sure. If you go early on a Saturday, (after 12 but before 5) chances are you’ll have the run of the place–it was pretty quiet when I got there and got excellent service from the bar. Nice one.

–Joe Wallace

Continue reading Chicago Record Stores: Reggie’s Record Breakers →

WTF Album Covers: Geraldine and Ricky

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WTF album covers puppets

Seriously, what is with the born-again Christians and the puppets? I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less than spend 45 minutes with my hand up a puppet’s ass talking out of the side of my mouth like a third-rate George Raft. And don’t try to tell me this crap is aimed at KIDS–track two on side two is titled “The Liquor Store”. That’s where I’d be spending the meager proceeds from this vinyl abomination if I had ANYTHING to do with it.

Geraldine And Ricky back cover

You might wonder why I vent my bile on ventriloquists on vinyl with such…passion, until you remember that very NATURE of the ventriloquist act is that you’re supposed to SEE THE DUMMY TALK apparently ON ITS OWN. Like MAGIC. Put these people on a record and the whole point of the ventriloquist act is…well yeah, you get it now.

Like so many other things associated with right wing evangelical Christianity, this makes absolutely ZERO SENSE.

OK, I feel better now.

–Joe Wallace

Chicago Record Stores: Beverly Records

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chicago record stores beverly records

Beverly Records, located at 11612 South Western Avenue in Chicago, is not for the faint of heart. Even hardcore vinyl junkies get a bit flushed when they walk into this shop. There are massive, massive bins of vinyl, no prices apparent, cramped quarters and use of the ladder in the back areas is strongly recommended.

indie record stores beverly records chicago

The apparent lack of prices will daunt the first-time shopper, but you CAN find some very nice stuff here if you don’t mind wading through some piles of mangled, beat-up covers and record store golden moldies. Personally, if I ever see another vinyl copy of any Edgar Winter album, Fleetwood Mac’s Rumors, the Hair or Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack, I will shoot myself in the face. But I digress.

Beverly Records has a ton of surprises aside from the vinyl. There is a lot of nostalgia here from ancient record players to this collection of 8-track tapes–only a small sampling of the collection pictured here.

chicago record stores beverly records vinyl

beverly records in chicago illinois

I had no idea they made Grease trading cards. But they did.

chicago record shops beverly records beverly illinois

The vinyl finds at Beverly Records on my visit were pretty sweet. I found a release by The Units I didn’t know existed, a copy of the BBC vinyl release of The Genesis of the Daleks with Tom Baker (I am a nerdy, it’s true) and a few other things including MOST of the Ohio Players original vinyl releases–all those delightfully naughty album covers including the one with the horse.

Verdict? Brace your back and your knees for punishment and be ready to wade through a lot of beat up crap to find the gems, but definitely worth a stop, especially if you’re a new vinyl junkie. No prices listed=major annoyance, so ask before you check out. Beverly Records is situated on one of THE longest single stretches of street in Chicago–Western Avenue goes and goes and goes and goes. Best to take the highway there after mapping it with Google Maps.

–Joe Wallace