Tag Archives: bad album covers

WTF #3: Millie Jackson Squeezes Out a Few Hits

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If there is a Hell, it’s reserved for the people who thought THIS ALBUM COVER was a GOOD IDEA.

Let me see if I understand this situation correctly. Millie Jackson, having quit her day job and staked her future on a singing career, looked at all her album cover options, and after due deliberation decided this photo of her on the crapper was THE BEST way to represent the recorded material.

How’d that singing career work out for ya, Millie?

On the other hand, maybe this album cover is the god’s honest truth; perhaps the album sounds like shit and this is just a rare instance of truthful packaging.

Just LOOK at that picture–this woman positively DWARFS that toilet. She must be linebacker-sized, and I shudder to think about the aftermath of this photo shoot. The expression on Millie Jackson’s face lets you know you’ll wear a similar grimace once the needle drops on this steaming turd of a record.

WTF of the Week: Satan Is Real by The Louvin Brothers

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I saw this album cover and a whole new series of Turntabling posts was born. WTF is our brand new series of unbelievable album art…make that REALLY DUMB and ILL-ADVISED album art. Let’s kick off the inaugural edition of WTF with SATAN IS REAL.

With songs like Satan’s Jeweled Crown, The Drunkard’s Doom, and of course the title track Satan Is Real, you’d be well within your rights to guess that this album is by some brain-dead Swedish death metal outfit named Kronktor or Circus Satanicus. But one glance at the album cover shows a couple of mindless country preacher boys quite confused about whether this is supposed to be a southern gospel record or a gleeful, undies-twisting celebration of Our Dark Lord Lucifer.

Just LOOK at this silly shit. These guys appear to be WELCOMING YOU TO HELL instead of getting ready to deliver the corn-fed gospel to you dripping with barbecue sauce and near-beer. And do I interpret that album cover correctly? In the upper right hand corner it seems to read “Part 1”. Looks like these cornpone cuzzin-lovers were planning a series, Lucas-style. If they could get themselves out of Hell, that is. The album cover makes it look like the Louvins are there to stay.

Is it just me, or did this album–released in 1960–anticipate Matt Parker and Trey Stone’s Satan by, oh, FORTY YEARS?

Here’s the best part. You can STILL BUY THIS NONSENSE. It’s available as an MP3 download from Amazon.com, or if you MUST you can purchase a physical copy to keep under your pillow when you’re cowering under the covers, hoping the Elder Gods don’t come to gnaw off your forehead.

Oh, and by the way–rumor has it that the Louvin Brothers created that fire-n-brimstone set themselves and nearly burned up real good when the flames started going haywire. That’ll teach you southern gospel boys to mess with the Debbil’s tools.