Tag Archives: bad photography

WTF Bad Album Covers: Static-X Start A War

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Our very first WTF bad album cover since Vinyl Road Rage! Don’t worry, there are plenty more Vinyl Road Rage record store review posts coming, but this week we resume our normal posts, too…and WTF bad album covers are piling up all over the place faster than I can write them up and post them.

First I’d like to say that from a visual perspective, I think this band was much better when it was called Alice In Chains. Maybe they THINK they’re Alice In Chains, but one listen to the tracks off this album and you’ll be begging for Layne Staley to dig himself out of the ground and throttle these guys to death with his bare zombified hands.

This is yet another in a long parade of nu metal “mad faces” album covers, but honestly, the cover makes it look like the mad faces are due to the fact that the hair salon won’t take them as walk-in clients rather than some kind of teeno-angst mongering.

I couldn’t figure out what it was that made me think this Static-X album cover is so wretched until I realized that the mad face dude with his mouth open (catching flies, no doubt) makes this cover look an AWFUL LOT like that Devil’s Bris album by Voltaire.


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WTF Album Covers: Geraldine and Ricky

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WTF album covers puppets

Seriously, what is with the born-again Christians and the puppets? I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less than spend 45 minutes with my hand up a puppet’s ass talking out of the side of my mouth like a third-rate George Raft. And don’t try to tell me this crap is aimed at KIDS–track two on side two is titled “The Liquor Store”. That’s where I’d be spending the meager proceeds from this vinyl abomination if I had ANYTHING to do with it.

Geraldine And Ricky back cover

You might wonder why I vent my bile on ventriloquists on vinyl with such…passion, until you remember that very NATURE of the ventriloquist act is that you’re supposed to SEE THE DUMMY TALK apparently ON ITS OWN. Like MAGIC. Put these people on a record and the whole point of the ventriloquist act is…well yeah, you get it now.

Like so many other things associated with right wing evangelical Christianity, this makes absolutely ZERO SENSE.

OK, I feel better now.

–Joe Wallace

WTF: At Play With The Playmates

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WTF BAD ALBUM COVERS AT PLAY WITH THE PLAYMATES

I don’t want to know what the boys in THIS band were thinking when they approved this unfortunately candid shot for At Play With The Playmates. The facial expressions alone are priceless. Look at “Lucky Pierre” in the middle there, he’s clearly the only one enjoying himself here…take that however you please, but the guy in the rear has “new hernia” written all over his face, while the gent in the front seems to have a sort of Glenn Beck outrage going on, combined with a case of sudden nausea. “Did you just touch my buttocks?”

At Play With The Playmates? This album has a sort of sub-par Four Seasons vibe to it, and it quickly wears out its welcome unless you’re a fan of the genre–and I’m definitely not. I’ll pass on the adenoidal shrieking, thanks very much. This album cover is damn amusing though. Just what ARE The Playmates playing at? It look suspiciously as though they’re all trying to cop a cheap jolly off the vibrations of a poorly tuned up moped.

–Joe Wallace