Bad album covers and PR artwork both come in a variety of flavors, but the category “Ill-Advised Band Photography” is one of my favorites. The ones I see where I can hear the band talking to the photographer in my head? Priceless. This is what I heard when I spotted this winner from Shrinebuilder.

“Ok, first, like, we’re not Christian rock even though our name sure sounds like it. Second, like, make our tats really prominent in this photograph, dude. It will distract people from thinking this guy on the left looks like Janeane Garafolo.”

“Now, I’m gonna arrange my hair and hold my chin out LIKE THIS so I look exactly like Viggo Mortensen. We’re big fans of those damn hobbit movies.”

“Yeah, we KNOW these two other guys look like a high school shop teacher and Emo Phillips. Just make us two tattooed dudes look badass and we’ll call it a day.”

“Yes, Janeane Garafolo here has an I-Ching tat. Ain’t that something? He got it because that’s the sound he makes right before we start playing. He kinda hawks up a loogie and goes “eeeeee-shinnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!”

“Ok, now take that damn picture and make sure we got our mad faces on first.”

–Joe Wallace