Category Archives: WTF?

WTF: Stryken First Strike

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WTF bad album covers Stryken First Strike

Bad album covers? Jesus knows all about them. These poor, misguided born-again heavy metalers forgot to ask the lord for guidance when trying to sort out the artwork for this album cover. Because if they had, it’s almost a dead cert that God (or Satan, for that matter) would tell them NOT to put their own goofy faces on this OR risk being sued by Throbbing Gristle for stealing that band’s lightning logo.

These guys so desperately want this to be a photographic version of the Kiss Destroyer album cover that you can practically hear the conversations now. “NO! Shoot it AGAIN! It doesn’t look like DESTROYER, not even close. We KNOW they’re Kids In Service of Satan, but we REALLY want to be as cool as they are. Oh, please mister photographer, don’t make us look any more effeminate than we already do with the Freddie Mercury pouts and eye makeup.”
Continue reading WTF: Stryken First Strike →

WTF: Bad Album Art Doublevision

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Bad album covers seem even worse when they’re foisted on unsuspecting record buyers by people who market their music using only their first name. What possesses people to release songs under ONE NAME ONLY? No ideas here, but I can tell you the one-name LP is a recipe for disaster. Today we bring you not one, but TWO abominations for the price of one. Behold the horror that is…KEN and JOYCE.

bad album covers ken Continue reading WTF: Bad Album Art Doublevision →

WTF: Riot Narita Album Cover

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Riot bad album cover art Narita LPBeing the curator of a bad album cover collection has its downsides. There are the endless rejects–album covers that simply aren’t rotten ENOUGH to include in a gallery of truly craptacular designs.

You have to wade through a lot of mediocrity to find real gems of awfulness. But when you do finally spot a brain shatteringly bad album cover, there’s a part of your soul that leaps for joy. And there was some handsprings going on today with the discovery of Riot’s Narita LP, truly one of the most deliciously shitty things we’ve found in a long time.

Beavis and Butthead once made fun of a Edie Brickell video, Butthead muttering,  “She’s pinching a loaf!” as Brickell crouched on the ground to sing. That’s exactly what echoes through the mind when gazing upon this miserable pimento loaf of an album cover. It looks like this mutant wrestler/mammal thing is crapping out skeletons as its being buzzed by an 80s era cargo plane. Continue reading WTF: Riot Narita Album Cover →

WTF: Crosby Stills and Nash Skullcrushingly Bad Album Art

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For those of you just joining us, WTF is our archive of crappy album artwork. There’s no way to define what exactly earns an album cover inclusion in our WTF gallery–we just know it when we see it. With that in mind, we give you…

Crosby Stills and Nash Live It Up

Crosby Stills and Nash are responsible for some of the worst hippified excesses of the 60s. Once Neil Young departed the picture, these three sonic tormentors were free to torture the rest of us with godawful dribble like “Teach Your Children”. Behold: “..and so become yourself/because the past is just a goodbye.”

Um, what? Bloody hippies. Go back to the peace pipe and leave us alone.

And then there’s THIS abomination–skewered hot dogs on the moon. Of COURSE! What ELSE would you put on an album called “Live It Up”? If you look closely you can see tiny little telephone company linemen wondering WTF they’re doing on the cover of this wretchedly awful nonsense. Can you hear what they’re thinking? “Oh my, I do hope I don’t float away into the cold vacuum of space. After all, I don’t have a space suit and I may die. But if I DO. at least I don’t have to listen to Crosby Stills and Nash ever again. In fact, I think I’ll just let go of my pole here and sail off into the dark. Maybe I’ll explode.” Continue reading WTF: Crosby Stills and Nash Skullcrushingly Bad Album Art →