Tag Archives: bad album covers

WTF Bad Album Covers: Swamp Dogg Resurrection

swamp dogg resurrection

What a mess. You can’t really tell unless you squint very hard at this bad album cover art for the Swamp Dogg album Resurrection, but the hat this crucified gent is wearing reads, “Witness Protection Program”. The sign on the crucifix reads “Program Failure”.

I’d say that’s an accurate description of what’s going on with this album cover.

What’s this damn thing trying to say? It looks like a talented stoner wanted to make some kind of anti-war image after savoring a nice fat bag of green, but couldn’t keep domestic politics from creeping into the picture (literally).

The artist can’t quite decide what needs to be front and center here…unless this album cover wants you to buy into the notion that the military is somehow racist for allowing people of color serve (and die) in a war zone.

That’s really the only thing you can take away from this, assuming there’s actually some kind of central message. Maybe they just told Jack The Happy Stoner Artist to throw in a bunch of controversial elements and let the chips fall where they may. And what chips they are!

“Yeah, Jack, we want to make sure Swamp Dogg is a martyr on the cover–but don’t forget to throw in some confusing stuff. Like that hat you got going there, GREAT IDEA! ‘Witness Protection Program’, yeah that’s what I mean, let’s confuse the hell out of them–is Swamp Dogg a squealer? Or is he a victim of THE MAN? They’ll have to listen to the album to figure it out!”

P.S.What’s with the flag underwear?

WTF Bad Album Covers: Kenny Loggins Keep the Fire

bad album covers kenny loggins keep the fireby Joe Wallace

There are three basic things wrong with this album cover; the name Kenny Loggins, the feathered hair that somehow makes Kenny Loggins look like Jesus, and the candy-ass new age look of this overall. The very IDEA of Kenny Loggins is offensive enough, but to have him all jumped up to look like Shirley MacLaine’s guru or maybe that creepy high school substitute teacher in his loungewear? It’s enough to make your aura turn brown.

I can’t get over the fact that somebody went out of their way to get this autographed by Mister Footloose himself. “Hey Kenny, your album cover makes you look like a character from Tim & Eric’s Awesome Show. Can I have your autograph, Monsuier New Age? I’ve got a collection of famous wankers and you’re next on the list.”

WTF Bad Album Covers: Bee Gees Cucumber Castle

Bad album covers Bee Gees Cucumber Castle

The fact that this exists at all is highly amusing, but funnier still–the notion that someone held a piece of vinyl with two total berks in armor on the cover and said, “Yes, Cucumber Castle is definitely the right name for this.’

One can only hope that the phrase “sausage party” is quickly replaced by “cucumber castle” now that this is getting the light of day.

Who did the art direction for this? “Yes, darling, we plan to have two of the band members photographed standing about in suits of armor. What? NO, they most definitely will NOT be doing anything aside from looking extremely uncomfortable. That’s how things WERE back then, you know. Nobody did much because of those bloody suits of armor. Except kill each other once in a while.” Continue reading WTF Bad Album Covers: Bee Gees Cucumber Castle

WTF Bad Album Covers: Sumthin Terrible U Stupid

Bad album covers Somthin Stupid

You have to give Sumthin Terrible some credit for adhering to truth in packaging concepts–you know exactly what you’re getting into here if you buy a copy of U Stupid. At first glance it sort of looks like the name of this record is U 2 Stupid, which made me want to buy the album instantly–U2 IS stupid and have far outlived their relevance. The last interesting thing they ever did was let Edge sing on Numb. Remember? It was back when they were still trying to be “edgy”.

Heh.

I have to give this bunch props for trying something original–in hip hop the “me too” factor is so high that it’s almost shocking when a fresh concept emerges. Sad that “me too” didn’t happen with groups like Arrested Development or Digable Planets in the same way it did with damn near every other successful name in the genre.

This album cover is a mess. What the hell is going on here? It looks like either a 28 Days Later-style zombie attack setup with the zombies sadly MIA or maybe these guys all at the leftover shrimp from last week. Either way, it’s an big ol’ FAIL of an album cover. Yawn. Continue reading WTF Bad Album Covers: Sumthin Terrible U Stupid