Tag Archives: bad art

WTF Album Covers: Ronnie Ronalde

by Joe Wallace

Sometimes, these WTF album covers are chosen simply because I haven’t had enough caffeine yet when I see them and they just…set…me…off. This one was discovered during a particularly bad decaffeination headache. I snarled at the computer screen. “Yodel…OR whistle. You can’t do both at once, jackass”.

I’m on my second cup now and feeling much better. But this record still sucks. If you listen to this after seeing both the word “yodeling” and “whistler”, there’s simply no hope for you.

WTF Album Covers: Raven The Pack Is Back

Brace yourself; what follows is one of the most brain-twistingly wrongheaded album covers in heavy metal history. What WERE these lunks thinking when they approved THIS image to sell their album for Atlantic Records?

WOW! This is a staggering achievement. It manages to be cheesy, stupid, AND sports related at the same time! According to the legend of this pile of flaming crap, a corporate label hack got a hold of this band, pressured them to make the record as commercial as possible and these poor metal schmucks wound up having HORNS and KEYTARS overdubbed on their record.

I’m no fan of metal, but I can sympathize with a band that has its musical vision turned into the sonic equivalent of Sesame Street but a guy in a necktie. Poor, misguided Raven. They should have told the photographer AND the corporate hack to get stuffed…but what can you do? Except brace yourself for inclusion in the Hall of Shame.

WTF Album Covers: Morrissey Get Rich Or Die Tryin’

When the PR spin doctors couldn’t live up to the courage of their convictions with the original gun-totin’ 50 Cent image for Get Rich Or Die Tryin’, they took the most spineless, cheesy route possible to save their wretched little movie–they swapped the gangsta thuggin gun visuals for the pic on the left–Curtis Jackson holding a cute little tyke instead.

“Awwww” you say. “Just look at that sweet little kiddo! Curtis Jackson might carry a pistol, but at least he won’t let the kid use it as a pacifier.”

It was shameless. It was corny. It worked. Even though poor 50 Cent had to endure the shame of the sort of spin doctoring usually reserved for Republican senators caught with their hands on the interns, he not only ended up no worse for the wear, he might have actually become a major influence for older, less relevant crooners who can’t…quite…command…the attention of the media and buying public the way they used to.

Case in point: Morrissey, who could be the very very first case of “me too” crossover from alt. rock to hip hop imagery. Is Moz trying to score points with 50 Cent’s audience? Is this the very first “aging rocker versus rap” feud? Perhaps Morrissey and Fiddy will engage in some kind of DJ battle, rap-off or…um, croon-off.

Probably not. But it would be damn amusing if they did. Behold Morrissey’s attempt to cash in on the baby pic image, which is somehow as disturbing as the possibility that he might try to guest-rap on the next 50 Cent single.

Continue reading WTF Album Covers: Morrissey Get Rich Or Die Tryin’

WTF Album Covers: Skillet and Leroy The Okra Eaters

Somehow I keep finding these “adults only” albums featuring poorly photographed humans from Earth in sexually compromising positions, making unfunny statements with cartoon speech bubbles. Ever since I found a Blowfly record in the dollar bin, these albums are now constantly turning up when I go vinyl shopping.

The most horrifying thing about this album cover apart from the nyuk-nyuk “lookit,we made a sex funny” vibe are the safari suit and the green checked pants. I want a pair to wear on stage now, thanks. When the alien archaeology teams land on this plant in a hundred years, they will find these records and wonder just who the the hell Sanford and Son were. Hell, some high school graduates are wondering that RIGHT NOW.

–Joe Wallace

Continue reading WTF Album Covers: Skillet and Leroy The Okra Eaters