Tag Archives: bad records

WTF Bad Album Covers Lil’ Flip The Leprechaun

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WTF bad album covers lil flip the leprechaun

What in the world were they thinking on THIS one? One music blogger writing for the Houston Press declares this the WORST hip hop cover in the history of the Houston scene. We’ll go that one better and say that this is simply one of the worst album covers, like, ever. Nothing says, “Hey, take me seriously” like a guy dressed up like the Lucky Charms mascot.

Gotta give Lil’ Flip points for originality in one respect–he’s not pointing a gun at the cover, standing against a brick wall with his arms folded and his chin stuck in the air like a weathervane, or making some ding-dong finger exercises that are supposed to indicate which side of the street he lives on. So good on you for that.

Ever since Lil’ Kim gained traction in the music industry, hip hop and related sounds has suffered from a veritable flood of “me too” rappers and hip hoppers all trying to get some of that “lil” magic to rub off on them. Seems pathetic, doesn’t? Lil Flip is only one of a shameful crop of intellectually bankrupt me too-ers. My question for all these Lil’ guys–do you want to be known as Lil ANYTHING when you’re FORTY? I didn’t think so. We can NEVER forgive Lil Kim for unleashing this torrent of Lil knockoffs.

Behold the list of the damned, courtesy of Wikipedia.

Hows about somebody calling themselves Lil Dumbass?

WTF Bad Album Covers: Jay Ferguson Thunder Island

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More like “Hall and Oates Island”. How can you look like BOTH of them at the same time?If Thunder Island were the last remaining safe haven in the zombie apocalypse, I’m not sure I’d go there with Jay Ferguson, even if he promised to let the survivors eat his corpse.

Sorry, Jay…but this is a matter of style–your choice of footwear leads one to believe that you’d be completely useless in a Charlton Heston-style end of the world context. Even on Thunder Island. ESPECIALLY on Thunder Island.
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WTF Album Covers: Jerry Colonna Music For Screaming

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WTF Bad Album Covers Jerry Colonna Music for Screaming

This wretched album cover for the Jerry Colonna album Music For Screaming couldn’t be accused of false advertising; this album cover is an accurate depiction of the mental state you’ll be in once you’ve listened to a track or two. But this record couldn’t possibly hold a candle to the promise of Dexy’s Midnight Runners Frontman Kevin Rowland, who on My Beauty barfs up versions of Daydream Believer, The Long and Winding Road, and The Greatest Love of All. In short, music for screaming–and a stunner of a bad album cover to boot!

WTF Bad Album Covers Kevin Rowland My BeautySome would call it homophobic to make fun of this album cover as it might represent someone’s attempt to come out of the closet or come to terms with their sexuality…but I put it to you that Pete Burns, Boy George, hell even Jayne County had album covers sexier than this.

Instead of some kind of bold statement, the expression on THIS guy’s face is one of somebody who got caught playing “Silence of the Lambs” in front of the mirror ala Buffalo Bill.

“Um, er…I wasn’t actually doing THE TUCK, lads. Really.”

There is more raw sex appeal in an album cover by The Mentors than this. If you’re really into the Pete Burns gender bendy concept (and why not?) here’s a VERY important tip–DITCH THE SIDEBURNS. You wouldn’t catch Annie Lennox with a pair of chops like this, and if Lemmy ever decided to give an alternative lifestyle a whirl I guarantee you he’d shave the fuzz off and never look back. Though he would look right scary in a set of pumps–Lemmy would need a pair of cycle boots regardless of which side of the street he decides to work.

WTF Bad Album Covers: The Best Heavy Metal Album Ever

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WTF Bad Album Covers

It’s not the artwork that makes this one of the worst covers we’ve seen all month, it’s the last word printed on the cover.

There’s only one thing sillier than putting a nancy-boy glam band like Poison on a heavy metal compilation album…and that’s putting a nancy-boy whine-rock band like NICKELBACK on a heavy metal compilation album. That this piece of crap is called The Best Heavy Metal Album In The World Ever AND features a Nickelback song is proof positive that morons rule the world, and we are their slaves.

OK, not ALL of us, but at least the suckers who actually BOUGHT this. Sorry, but the fact that Motorhead shows up here does NOT redeem the album. The Best Heavy Metal Album Ever is, in all possibility by Motorhead…so ignore this and go listen to March Or Die instead.

I hate to go on and on here, but Nickelback? METAL? The very name is the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard. Nickelback is by far one of the absolute worst of the whiner bands in recent memory. They started off as unlistenable angst-whiner rock and went downhill from there to balladeering craphounds. All whiners, all the time. What a bunch of tossers. And now…this. Rock on, dudes. And Nickelback.

Wow, that was a lot of venom directed at the gents in the N-word band. I feel better now. Lighter.

J. Wallace