Category Archives: album

Even More Vinyl Road Rage Random Images

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Vinyl Road Rage posts have gone from Cleveland to Philly and we’re not done yet! I’ve got a lot of New York City record stores to get through and there are a few posts that haven’t gone up yet from Ohio and Pittsburgh yet to come. New York comes first though–I’ve been posting these in chronological order. In the meantime, here is another collection of Vinyl Road Rage images collected from the trip. There were 1500 photos in all! Not that you’ll see all those here, but I have picked some of the best….

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WTF Bad Album Covers: Static-X Start A War

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Our very first WTF bad album cover since Vinyl Road Rage! Don’t worry, there are plenty more Vinyl Road Rage record store review posts coming, but this week we resume our normal posts, too…and WTF bad album covers are piling up all over the place faster than I can write them up and post them.

First I’d like to say that from a visual perspective, I think this band was much better when it was called Alice In Chains. Maybe they THINK they’re Alice In Chains, but one listen to the tracks off this album and you’ll be begging for Layne Staley to dig himself out of the ground and throttle these guys to death with his bare zombified hands.

This is yet another in a long parade of nu metal “mad faces” album covers, but honestly, the cover makes it look like the mad faces are due to the fact that the hair salon won’t take them as walk-in clients rather than some kind of teeno-angst mongering.

I couldn’t figure out what it was that made me think this Static-X album cover is so wretched until I realized that the mad face dude with his mouth open (catching flies, no doubt) makes this cover look an AWFUL LOT like that Devil’s Bris album by Voltaire.


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WTF Album Covers: The Simmons Need the Touch Of God in their Laundry Basket

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Richard Dawkins needs no additional proof. When he says “There is no God” he is looking right at THIS ALBUM COVER by The Simmons, who clearly do NOT have the touch of God helping them to pick out their clothes.

The real burning question about this album cover for me is this; how many sofas had to die to make these clothes? And the gents in this picture are clearly in love with safety orange as a fashion statement. Does ANYBODY look good wearing safety orange in a non-ironic way?

This album is another brick in the wall of evidence that there is actually NO INTELLIGENCE responsible for our wretched existence on planet Earth. If there IS a God, he she or it needs to DO something about the people who put out album in her/his/its name. The fashions are atrocious, and if JESUS dresses like this, I’m buying a one-way ticket to the OTHER place. I can’t in good conscience serve a God who lets its followers go out in public like this. I mean REALLY.

–Joe Wallace

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WTF Album Covers: Paul and Paula Horror

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This album cover would be TOTALLY vanilla (except for the milkshake) if it weren’t for that look on this dude’s face. I can’t decide what he’s trying to tell his date here. Is he asking if Paula’s ever heard “Back Door Man” by The Doors? Is he suggesting a night of ritual cannibalism and mescaline abuse?

Maybe what’s going on here has more to do with the fact that you can’t see Paul’s OTHER hand in the photograph. But the expression on Paula’s face seems to indicate that whatever he’s doing, it ain’t working. Maybe they should try some poppers first.