Category Archives: WTF?

WTF Album Covers: Geraldine and Ricky

WTF album covers puppets

Seriously, what is with the born-again Christians and the puppets? I can’t think of anything I’d rather do less than spend 45 minutes with my hand up a puppet’s ass talking out of the side of my mouth like a third-rate George Raft. And don’t try to tell me this crap is aimed at KIDS–track two on side two is titled “The Liquor Store”. That’s where I’d be spending the meager proceeds from this vinyl abomination if I had ANYTHING to do with it.

Geraldine And Ricky back cover

You might wonder why I vent my bile on ventriloquists on vinyl with such…passion, until you remember that very NATURE of the ventriloquist act is that you’re supposed to SEE THE DUMMY TALK apparently ON ITS OWN. Like MAGIC. Put these people on a record and the whole point of the ventriloquist act is…well yeah, you get it now.

Like so many other things associated with right wing evangelical Christianity, this makes absolutely ZERO SENSE.

OK, I feel better now.

–Joe Wallace

WTF Album Covers: Fleetwood Mac Mystery To Me

Fleetwood Mac Bad Album Covers

The real mystery behind this bad album cover is why anyone thought it would be a good idea to market the music on the album using THIS IMAGE. Since a plenty of Fleetwood Mac albums in the catalog featured members of the band on the cover, one can only assume that aesthetic is also represented here somehow. But which band member is depicted here?

Could it be a snide jab at Stevie Nicks? Or maybe that this gorilla looks a little tiny bit like Mick Fleetwood isn’t a coincidence. Regardless, file this one under “What were they thinking?” or maybe even, “We have an artist friend.” Friends don’t let friends design album covers for friend bands.

Satan, Rock Music, and Born Again Christians

In the 1980s, America was gripped in such a wave of conservative nonsense that any idiot could write a book about Satan, rock music, and witchcraft and it would somehow sell. Brain-dead religious right charlatans and/or nutters like Bob Larson, Jacob Aranza, and the infamous Peters Brothers were doing a brisk business in books about Satanic messages hidden in that evil rock and roll music.

The Devils Disciples The Truth About Rock

The best part about all of these books–and the most telling–are their sections about “backwards masking”. This delightfully hysterical non-crisis was generated by preachers who spent a good deal of time turning records backwards on their turntables, listening for the Devil’s messages.

Satan Music Peters Brothers Why Knock Rock

Even better-the right wing hysteria made bands get into the act and perpetrate their own actual, for-real backwards masking messages. Did they do it just to screw with the Christies? ELO not once, but TWICE threw a bone to the Bob Larsons of the world with the albums Eldorado and Secret Messages. Kiss’s Gene Simmons–then seemingly eager to bait Christians into some new madness– recorded some backwards messages on his solo record. There were plenty of others, to be sure.

Backwards Masking UnmaskedWell, now that I’ve purchased an Audio-Technica AT LP 120 USB turntable, I’ve taken to revisiting some of these hilariously wrong-headed books. (I was all about them when I was in high school for vastly different reasons–caught up in my own small town religious kookiness–don’t worry, I got better).

See, the Audio Technica AT LP120 turntable has a delightful function–it plays in reverse, no finger-turning needed to uncover those Satanic messages. I plan to go through the whole of my catalog to listen for the Devil’s commands…I thought I’d start off by listening to Eno’s Music For Airports and work my way to the first Air LP.

Yeah, those records are all instrumentals. But Satan is a TRICKSTER, you see. He could have hidden messages in there backwards ANYWAY. And that’s the same kind of logic you’ll find waiting for you in ANY of those book titles displayed here.

If you’ve never read these books, I strongly urge you to do so…if for no other reason than to see the minds at work behind yesterday’s goofy right wing thinking. Which is pretty much the SAME thinking at work in TODAY’S goofy right wing thinking.

Don’t believe me? Check THIS crap out:

This website is called Dial-the-Truth Ministries. In addition to being grossed out by their anti-Obama hysteria and general Bronze Age fire and brimstone stupidity, can I REALLY be the only person who sees the disconnect in a WEBSITE called DIAL the Truth? I think not. But it never occurred to THEM, apparently.

Here’s a total howler of a site with a page called Satan’s Music. Prince, Queen, and apparently for some reason the Dixie Chicks are all apparently in service of Our Dark Lord Lucifer. Even the cute one.

Did you know that Emo is unethical for born againers to listen to? Oh yes, kiddies. You are all going to kill yourselves now.

Those are only three examples. Share your own in the comments section, and don’t forget kids…YANKEE ROSE.

WTF Album Covers Disco Rick Has A Mouthful For You

WTF album covers Disco Rick

If you think this is a throwaway from Chappelle’s Show, think again. The Negro’s Back by Disco Rick is one hell of a bewildering album cover. Is he brandishing the KKK hood because he just beat the living crap out of some inbred redneck throwback or is he threatening to MAKE YOU WEAR IT?

The flames on this WTF album cover are also confusing. Is Disco Rick in HELL here? Or maybe he’s just set fire to his own pants because, you know, it makes him feel sexy. Disco Rick isn’t sporting any disco attire here, so it’s not exactly clear what kind of disco we’re dealing with here. Perhaps this album cover is actually an ADVERTISEMENT for a redneck disco that features a nightly bonfire and weenie roast. Or maybe Disco Rick is actually a fireman and we’re mistaking a piece of safety equipment for a Klan hood.

No, that’s not right.

There’s SOME kind of statement going on here, just hard to figure out what it is. The noose, the fire, and the hood would all be pretty emotionally loaded, politically charged stuff…except the message is coming from a guy with the word DISCO in his stage name. It’s the equivalent of getting a book in the mail titled, “The Relative Merits of James Joyce and William Faulkner” written by HOWARD STERN. Continue reading WTF Album Covers Disco Rick Has A Mouthful For You