Category Archives: editorial

WTF Records: Pink Panther, Frankenberry Disco and Paul Klee

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by Joe Wallace

I am a rabid fan of bad album art, but I am also a collector of weirdness on vinyl. Sometimes weirdness manifests itself by goofy juxtapositions of style and content–the Ethel Merman disco album or the Lord of the Rings Disco Theme are two great examples. And then there are the vinyl record projects that are so brain-crushingly odd they defy reason.

For example, why did the artists choose to create an album where they musically interpret the work of abstract painter Paul Klee? That’s exactly what The National Gallery decided to do on the record titled “Performing Musical Interpretations of the Paintings of Paul Klee”.

What’s more, it’s going for upwards of $65!! Apparently Chuck Mangione–famous in the 70s for being a horn blower in the same way Kenny G was famous in the 90s for saxophone warbling–wrote some of this. What I want to know is WTF exactly was going through their heads (acid?) when they decided the project should be committed to vinyl. Maybe it sounds awesome–I have no idea, but as a CONCEPT it’s amazingly left-of-center. Bravo.

What would you say if you were sitting in your record executive’s office and someone approached you about releasing a vinyl LP, presumably aimed at the kiddies, featuring a then-famous cartoon character? Good idea, right?

But there’s just one problem with Pink Panther Country as a concept–the Pink Panther character in those original cartoons NEVER SPOKE. And on top of that, the music the show was known for was a very jazzy, hepcat sort of sound–not country. Regardless, somebody saw fit to issue this little nuttiness on vinyl–as a picture disc to boot!

And finally, there’s my favorite of the bunch in this post–something which now seems so wrong-headed and insane that I can’t imagine it ever looking like a good idea unless you were in the middle of a bag of blow.

In the 70s, when disco exploded and everybody and their grandma dropped ‘ludes and wore silver lame, some marketing genius thought it would be a good idea to get the KIDS emulating their drugged-out parents in some fashion, no doubt pretending the local Rotary Club was Studio 54. If only they had thought to combine quaaludes with breakfast cereal, this might have actually made sense in a sort of Doctor Evil context:

The breakfast cereal monsters snort coke off naked hookers! The breakfast cereal monsters crash a car into a concrete pillar on the highway after too many highballs and spliffs in the men’s room! The breakfast cereal monsters hallucinate spiders crawling all over them after taking one too many toots from a bag of cocaine laced with angel dust! So none of that actually happens on this record–but it SHOULD have.

I do not own ANY of these records…yet. I am now on a mission to locate them so I can report more fully on the contents. This nonsense deserves to be heard. Credit where credit is due–I discovered ALL this insanity at the super-awesome FrankLaRosa.com vinyl gallery, which is fearsomely impressive. My mind has been permanently damaged by his collection of amazingly weird records. I highly recommend a visit.

 

WTF Album Covers: Amazing Grace

WTF?

by Joe Wallace

For reasons I’ll never understand, gospel records are a particular type of awful. The covers do a GREAT job at communicating that you really, really, REALLY don’t want to listen to what’s on the record, don’t they? I mean, LOOK at this crap. For people who are all ate up about sarrrvan tha lawwwourd, they don’t pay ANY attention to how they’re presenting the message they want to get across. Behold, my bretheren, the warped nonsense of gospel album cover hell…

…partners in an INTELLECTUAL SUICIDE PACT.

An amazing BUMMER. Put this one on the next time you desperately need to clear out a room. That party going on too long? Whip this little beauty onto the stereo and watch your friends FLEE IN TERROR.

Camp Meeting Resurrection? Seriously? Are you telling me there’s someone out there who takes one look at this album cover and ISN’T looking for the purple Kool-Aid? Cuz this has Jonestown written all over it. As in, you’ll be PLEADING for the Kool-Aid after listening to this for five seconds.

Ever notice that all these album covers that are shrieking about Jesus always have somebody ELSE’S FACE on them? It’s easy to understand why some people might get confused into thinking Jimmy Swaggart is God–the album titles are all about the Jesus, but it’s Jimmy’s hambone face. LOOK at this guy–I definitely would NOT buy a hot dog from him.

Sleepless in Reykjavik

Media

While searching for the old website for one of my favorite record stores–the Iceland indie shop Hjollmalind (spelling? It’s been so long since they disappeared)–I found a web series called Sleepless In Reykjavik, which focuses on the most excellent Icelandic music scene.

I’ve long been hooked on Icelandic music since finding a copy of the Enigma Records compilation Geyser, which was a snapshot of the 80s Icelandic indie landscape featuring a variety of groups including Bubbi & Das Kapital, Hoh, and many others. And yes, Bjork appeared on several tracks–but not as a Sugarcube.

Icelandic music has a particular vibe not found in other places, and I’m an enthusiastic collector of groups like Baraflokkurin, Vonbrigði, and other groups that never saw the light of day in the USA, but certainly deserve their day in the sun.

So here’s an update on the Icelandic music scene–which I’ve fallen sadly out of touch with since the rise of Bang Gang and Bardi Johansson a few years ago. Sleepless in Reykjavik is a very well-produced series and I’d love to see more….the music in this episode is a bit more sedate than I expected–I’m more a Rokk I Reykjavik fan, and if you haven’t seen that documentary concert film, you’re missing quite a bit–but it’s definitely worth a look.

Does Sleepless In Reykjavik get noisier? Only future episodes (which I haven’t seen yet) will tell….
–Joe Wallace



12 Inch Vinyl Record Made From…WOOD GLUE

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YouTube is turning out to be quite a repository for vinyl weirdness. Enjoy my latest discovery in the Twilight Zone of turntabling–the gent in this video purchased a vinyl record stamper via eBay and decided to see what would happen if he tried to press a record with it using a whole mess of wood glue.

A vinyl stamper isn’t the machine that cranks out the LPs, it’s the “mold” for an individual record–the recorded music etched into the metal surface, ready for a load of melted vinyl to be poured into it and pressed. Since theoretically any liquidy substance that dries into a hardened form could be used, why not try making a 12-inch LP with wood glue? The results? Edisonian, but interesting nonetheless.