WTF Album Covers: Holiday Hell

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Bad album covers are funny enough…but when the holiday shopping season kicks in, they get an extra dimension of wretchedness that is too fun to pass up. Who wouldn’t buy one of these for the awfulness alone? I am going to FRAME these lil bastids one of these days and put them up along with the tinsel and lights:

If you saw THIS guy strumming away on TV over the holidays, you’d swear it was an episode of Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show. But it’s not. It’s just that you’ve died and gone to hell.

Die, Jimmy Buffet. Die, die, die. You have given me Christmas nightmares now for all eternity.

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I don’t even want to know what THIS bunch is on about. It looks like a prison lineup, but ESPECIALLY the guy on the far left. What the hell’s going on in THIS gent’s head? Images of sugarplums, no doubt, slicing up the neighborhood winos and barbecuing pets on a wood stove.

Xmas with Slim Whitman? Not if you were the LAST creepy looking dude in a smoking jacket left on Earth. I repeat, Slim Whitman, STOP TOUCHING ME THERE.

But the greatest holiday terror has been saved for last. Brace yourself for the eternal horror of….

This Liberace album cover image was originally 666 pixels wide. Really.

Alsip Record Collectors Show

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Alsip Illinois is not what you’d think of as record collector’s heaven, but for one day in November–Saturday November 20, 2010 to be exact–it is EXACTLY that. The Alsip Record Collectors Show was a goldmine for me—I dropped a nice pile of cash here on some obscurities that make my fellow collectors drool.

The thing I truly enjoyed most about this show were the deep discounts. A vinyl junkie buying large numbers of titles can get a good markdown from these very friendly dealers…and I didn’t even ask!

Contrast that to some of the people at the show who seemed, well, a bit too pushy for my tastes when they tried to negotiate discounts on stuff that was already going for half price.

A dealer’s got to turn SOME kind of a profit at these shows and I respect that–otherwise why go into the business in the first place? I was well pleased with the titles, selection and discounts I got from this show.

From the Tones on Tail colored vinyl 12-inch of “Lions” with GO! as the b-side to the Skinny Puppy LP Mind: The Perpetual Intercourse, I cleaned up.

I highly recommend the Alsip Record Collectors show. Whenever I find a new-to-me record show to attend, I hop on Facebook to see if they are listed there–the most savvy record shows take full advantage of Facebook.

I was stunned to see only TWO people like the Alsip record show FB page, which is sad…this is a show well worth attending even if it is on the outskirts of Chicago and an hour-ish drive away. Friend ’em on Facebook and give them some love. This is a small, easy to navigate and above all FUN TO SHOP record show.

Continue reading Alsip Record Collectors Show →

Turntabling Art

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Yep, we’re branching out. You might have noticed the Turntabling Etsy Store to the right, and in addition to the used vinyl records and tees I’m selling there, I’ve also started offering turntabling and DJ-themed art. What you see here are the first two–there is much more to come in many forms including more art prints, some turntable-related tees and more.

Vinyl isn’t just a format, it’s a way of life…at least around the Turntabling.net office. I’m pretty wrapped up in the vinyl junkie lifestyle–crate digging on an obsessive basis, writing about it, blogging it, traveling thousands of miles out of my way to buy and sell it. Can’t help myself, either–call me hopeless.

So it was only natural that I’d resort to making art about it…click on the images or drop by the Turntabling Etsy shop to see more.


If you have a particular image or set of images you’d like to see made into a fine art print or series, drop me a line via Etsy and I’d be happy to discuss doing custom work. You can also reach me here: jwallace (at) turntabling (dot net).

WTF Album Covers: Donny Osmond Disco Train

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Brace yourself.

There are three really awful things going on in this photograph. #1- Donny Osmond is wearing a cape. #2, he’s also wearing flared trousers. #3–Donny Osmond is wearing a FRICKIN CAPE.

Why were so many singers obsessed with trains in the 70s?Donny Osmond isn’t the only one, there’s a ton of singles featuring the locomotive; Love Train, City of New Orleans, Train in Vain, you name it…people, there are OTHER MEANS OF TRANSPORTATION TO SING ABOUT. Enough with the damn trains already. Nobody writes a ballad about a unicycle or a pair of rollerblades, do they? No. They write about bleedin’ TRAINS.

Donny here wants to simultaneously derail a train and kill all the passengers AND destroy this Elton-John-wet-dream piano in the process. This photograph is clearly an indication that Donny Osmond is predisposed to domestic terrorism and he should be investigated by the FBI and the TSA.

But I keep coming back to THE CAPE. Why? It’s bad enough that Donny Osmond has another record out, but the cape really tears it for me. “Does Liberace know you’re raiding his wardrobe?” Continue reading WTF Album Covers: Donny Osmond Disco Train →