WTF: Bad Metal Album Covers

album, WTF?, , , , , ,

wft15

Metal bands seem to be particularly challenged when it comes to the cover art. It’s hard to find a truly GOOD album cover by a metal band. Some bands are so impressed with themselves for actually having the stick to finish the album that the artwork is pure afterthought…and it shows.

“Dude! We were so drunk when we made this record! How did we finish? I don’t know how we did it! Party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!”

The first mistake the band Exciter made was naming themselves after a piece of studio equipment. There are two cliches that noob bands fall into–one is having a band photo of themselves with a brick wall in the background, the other is naming a song or the band itself after a piece of studio gear in a non-ironic or unintentionally amusing way. (The exception to this rule is keyboard references, for some reason, especially when it comes to Moogs.)

Depeche Mode is probably the most high profile band to make this painful gaffe..and strangely enough their mistake is the same as this band’s. Why would ANYONE call a song, album or entity, “Exciter”? It sounds like a 4th rate sex toy imported from Malaysia in a broken carton.

wtf16

Exhibit B–the name of this album is “Warmasters”. But instead of seeing an actual warmaster (whatever that is) what you GET is this dork who lives in his mom’s basement pretending that it’s Halloween for the 99th straight day in a row. Hey, bud, that scowl on your face does NOT disguise the fact that it takes you all day to get out of bed and that you’re completely out of breath by the time you’re done tuning your guitar. Warmaster? Try a THIGHMASTER.

wtf14

Witchfinder General? More like, Adam Ant. These guys aren’t “Friends of Hell”. They’re friends of SATIN. And taffeta.

There are far too many bad metal album covers to include in one post…this could go on all YEAR, this stuff is PRICELESS. I love these bands for having the balls to be so damn corny. Rock on, dudes. I wouldn’t listen to these albums for pleasure, but they’re an endless source of entertainment and America is a better place because of them. More, please.

Suspiria LP Temporarily Sold Out

album, Media, , , ,

suspiria soundtrack LP vinyl record for sale

Demand has gone crazy for the Argento titles…the Suspiria vinyl album is temporarily sold out (more are on the way) and there aren’t many copies left of a few of the other Argento LPs–the vinyl is going fast lately, probably thanks in part to an excellent post today on Listverse.com called 10 Brilliant Giallo Films.

MikeR wrote up a very nice collection of films including one of my  favorites–Death Walks On High Heels.  Not very keen at all on A Blade In The Dark, but his other selections are spot on…more posts like these, please!

–Joe Wallace



Back From Capricon

Events, , ,

It was a very interesting weekend at Carpicon XXX–the thirtieth science fiction convention and the only four-day show for sci fi fans in this area. Many thanks to all who stopped by the Turntabling table and picked up hard-to-find vinyl, talked music and other ephemera and made the show a lot of fun to be at in general.

One of the more interesting features of this convention was the concept of party suites–something I haven’t seen at the horror conventions so far. Turntabling may well get involved in organizing a suite at some of these shows to try something new, spin some tunes and throw a monster party to promote the site. Stay tuned, that is something in the works that we’ll give updates on shortly.

It’s great to be back–there are plenty of new titles to be added to the site this week, keep your eyes peeled for those plus the usual run of bad album covers and much more.

–Joe Wallace

Join Turntabling at Capricon 2010

Events, , , ,

vinyl records for sale

Things have been a bit quiet here as Turntabling prepares for its first appearance at Capricon, the Chicago area’s only four-day science fiction conference. It’s an experiment for Turntabling–there’s no telling how many vinyl junkies or genre fans (outside sci-fi) will be there, but it’s a lot of fun running the Turntabling table at shows so it’s an experiment worth doing.

Come visit the Turntabling table at Capricon this weekend, February 11-14 located at the Westin Chicago North Shore:

601 North Milwaukee Avenue, Wheeling, IL 60090
(847)777-6500 www.westinnorthshore.com