Tag Archives: bad album art

WTF Bad Album Covers: Bee Gees Cucumber Castle

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Bad album covers Bee Gees Cucumber Castle

The fact that this exists at all is highly amusing, but funnier still–the notion that someone held a piece of vinyl with two total berks in armor on the cover and said, “Yes, Cucumber Castle is definitely the right name for this.’

One can only hope that the phrase “sausage party” is quickly replaced by “cucumber castle” now that this is getting the light of day.

Who did the art direction for this? “Yes, darling, we plan to have two of the band members photographed standing about in suits of armor. What? NO, they most definitely will NOT be doing anything aside from looking extremely uncomfortable. That’s how things WERE back then, you know. Nobody did much because of those bloody suits of armor. Except kill each other once in a while.” Continue reading WTF Bad Album Covers: Bee Gees Cucumber Castle →

WTF Album Covers: Jerry Colonna Music For Screaming

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WTF Bad Album Covers Jerry Colonna Music for Screaming

This wretched album cover for the Jerry Colonna album Music For Screaming couldn’t be accused of false advertising; this album cover is an accurate depiction of the mental state you’ll be in once you’ve listened to a track or two. But this record couldn’t possibly hold a candle to the promise of Dexy’s Midnight Runners Frontman Kevin Rowland, who on My Beauty barfs up versions of Daydream Believer, The Long and Winding Road, and The Greatest Love of All. In short, music for screaming–and a stunner of a bad album cover to boot!

WTF Bad Album Covers Kevin Rowland My BeautySome would call it homophobic to make fun of this album cover as it might represent someone’s attempt to come out of the closet or come to terms with their sexuality…but I put it to you that Pete Burns, Boy George, hell even Jayne County had album covers sexier than this.

Instead of some kind of bold statement, the expression on THIS guy’s face is one of somebody who got caught playing “Silence of the Lambs” in front of the mirror ala Buffalo Bill.

“Um, er…I wasn’t actually doing THE TUCK, lads. Really.”

There is more raw sex appeal in an album cover by The Mentors than this. If you’re really into the Pete Burns gender bendy concept (and why not?) here’s a VERY important tip–DITCH THE SIDEBURNS. You wouldn’t catch Annie Lennox with a pair of chops like this, and if Lemmy ever decided to give an alternative lifestyle a whirl I guarantee you he’d shave the fuzz off and never look back. Though he would look right scary in a set of pumps–Lemmy would need a pair of cycle boots regardless of which side of the street he decides to work.

WTF Bad Album Covers: Predator Easy Prey

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predator easy prey vinyl album WTF bad album coversby Joe Wallace

Easily one of the most offensive album covers of all time, the Predator Easy Prey vinyl album defies logic–IF the guiding principle of album artwork is to sell the music inside. “Hey kids, buy this record–it’s about SEXUAL ASSAULT!”

What were these lunkheads thinking when they came up with THIS crap? It’s difficult to blame the band 100% on this one–the fault rests squarely with the record label, Metal Blade Records if an interview with Predator’s Jeff Prentice is to be believed. Prentice was interviewed by Sleazegrinder.com, saying “I laughed my ass off that they actually used it. Talk about low budget!” Prentice added, “It was all in good fun. Nowadays the politically correct liberal f*cks would be all over it. Heh heh.”

Some would counter that by saying that it’s not so much a question of political correctness per se, but rather the idea that–as presented on the cover and the infamous back cover (see below) the band might be misinterpreted as saying “We don’t actually have a problem with this.” Or maybe they’re saying, “We like hot chicks in beachwear, but didn’t have the balls to just show that cuz it’s like, you know, not METAL enough. Party on, Garth.”

Prentice nyuk nyuks about this cover, but the presentation actually would have been far more interesting if the roles were reversed on the back cover of the LP instead of what we get here:

predator back cover vinyl

But it’s not really Turntabling’s gig to discuss effing philosophy of art with this crap–it’s more about first impression factors and whether the album art does its job well. If you spot THIS winner in the shops, do you want to BUY it? Continue reading WTF Bad Album Covers: Predator Easy Prey →

WTF Album Covers Joe Gibbs Pot-Free Reggae Christmas

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reggae_christmas Joe Gibbs WTF bad album coversby Joe Wallace

Yes, that’s a great big old marijuana plant or two on the cover of the Joe Gibbs Reggae Christmas album. At Turntabling, we tend to sympathize with Anthony Bourdain, Don Letts, and Peter Tosh when it comes to legalization of the herb–after all, what are malt, hops, and barley? The presence of George Washington’s favorite plant on this album cover is laugh-inducing, but it doesn’t necessarily make it a BAD album cover all by itself…so what gives, Gibbs?

I’ll tell you what gives. The WTF factor for yours truly (aside from having a powerful case of the munchies just LOOKING at this cover) comes when you compare the cover for this vinyl record with the cover for the Joe Gibbs Reggae Christmas album available for download on Amazon.com.

Joe Gibbs Reggae Christmas sanitzed and pot-free

Is this even the SAME ALBUM? Nicely sanitized and pot-free, we’re guessing this makes the world safe for the kiddies who don’t want to come downstairs on Xmas morning to find a nice big fatty in their Christmas stocking. Well, darlings, that’s all YOU. Me, I kind of like the idea of having a glazed Christmas, thanks.

I bet poor ol’ Joe Gibbs had NOTHING to do with any of this–some record company hack or Amazon corporate doink decided that purple sticky wasn’t appropriate for Christmas. After all, it’s marketed at the kiddies, right? Can’t have the rugrats wondering why Mom and Dad are giggling so much and eating all the fruitcake.