Tag Archives: bad album art

WTF: Cartoon Disco

WTF Cartoon Disco

To be fair, the bad album art is really not the main event here, though if you were going to try to sell an LP full of already unlistenable crap repackaged as disco dancefloor hits, you’d probably want to show some people actively engaged in, oh, I don’t know, DISCO DANCING?

The cover photo for this looks like the woman just brushed off a drunken groper in some sleazy snack bar; if these two are supposed to be having a good time listening to a disco-fied “Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah” it’s impossible to tell. The grimace on her face alone says “bowel surgery” instead of “hot disco fun”.

Now to the realy question. WTF made ANYONE think an album of disco versions of The Woody Woodpecker song would actually SELL? “Hey guys, here’s a great one, let’s spend $70 grand reworking Popeye The Sailor Man into a Studio 54 staple.”

The group that recorded this musical death rattle? Disco Band. they thought so much of themselves that they took the first name that came out of the engineer’s mouth. “Hey, Charlie, what do we call ourselves on this piece of crap, anyway?”

For my money, the song to kill yourself to on this record would be Chim Chim Cheree, which I’ve hated since the first time I heard it as a child. But then again, I hated cartoons at an early, early age (single digits, folks) because–get this–they weren’t VIOLENT ENOUGH.

No wonder I hate THIS with such a passion. And I LIKE disco cheese. But the idea of listening to ten seconds of Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah for any reason at all gives me the makings of my very first seizure.

Cartoon Disco Back Cover WTF

-Joe Wallace

WTF: Shrinebuilder

WTF bad album art Shrinebuilder

Bad album covers and PR artwork both come in a variety of flavors, but the category “Ill-Advised Band Photography” is one of my favorites. The ones I see where I can hear the band talking to the photographer in my head? Priceless. This is what I heard when I spotted this winner from Shrinebuilder.

“Ok, first, like, we’re not Christian rock even though our name sure sounds like it. Second, like, make our tats really prominent in this photograph, dude. It will distract people from thinking this guy on the left looks like Janeane Garafolo.”

“Now, I’m gonna arrange my hair and hold my chin out LIKE THIS so I look exactly like Viggo Mortensen. We’re big fans of those damn hobbit movies.”

“Yeah, we KNOW these two other guys look like a high school shop teacher and Emo Phillips. Just make us two tattooed dudes look badass and we’ll call it a day.”

“Yes, Janeane Garafolo here has an I-Ching tat. Ain’t that something? He got it because that’s the sound he makes right before we start playing. He kinda hawks up a loogie and goes “eeeeee-shinnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!”

“Ok, now take that damn picture and make sure we got our mad faces on first.”

–Joe Wallace

WTF Bad Album Covers Showdown

WTF bad album covers nofx_heavy_petting_zoo
Some days you just can’t decide…and today is one of those days. Normally only one bad album cover gets featured at a time here, but I found three utterly horrific vinyl LP releases today that not only defy reason with their utter cluelessness, but also transported me temporarily into a completely other dimension of disbelief. I couldn’t NOT write about any of them.

Not even Christian rock is this astonishing. You may be able to find some kind of mental acrobatics going on for a born-again record label to be able to justify a band like Stryper combining their gender-bendy spandex-n-sexual confusion vibe with bible verses and (apparently) chaste-living philosophies….but no amount of sacramental wine could fog your brain enough to think the following album cover artwork choices made ANY sense at all… Continue reading WTF Bad Album Covers Showdown

WTF: Crying Demons LP

WTF crying demons bad album art

Bad album art? Well, hell son, YOU be the judge. This album cover does NOT depict a 12-year old Mos Def doing a prank record…instead it’s made for suckers who think they’re going to hear real live demons talking through their halpless victims. But let’s not get carried away, WTF is all about the LP cover art and what artwork this is.

What in the WORLD is going on here? The album is called “Crying Demons” but we see a grinning cross-eyed partygoer with one too many Bud Lights with Lime in him instead. Or maybe it’s nitrous oxide. Perhaps our cover model is fresh out of a car accident and he’s got some horrific head injury we can’t quite see…whatever is going on here, it’s pretty far away from demonic possession. Where’s the green pea soup spewing?

I LOVE this album cover to DEATH. I need to OWN this masterpiece, and you can actually PURCHASE IT ON AMAZON albeit at the insane collector’s price of $27.86 for a used copy (at press time. Who knows what one is going for now??)

I won’t say that I’d SELL MY SOUL for a copy of this record. No I won’t.

–Joe Wallace

Continue reading WTF: Crying Demons LP