Category Archives: WTF?

WTF Album Covers Ludacris Chicken N Beer

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Some complain that a staggering majority of rap albums are insultingly stupid, repetitive, sexist, and that the genre is piled to the sky with “me too” copycats. But I defy ANYONE to find anything “me too” about a rap record with cannibalism front and center on the cover.

The way Ludacris is poised to devour that human leg on the cover of Chicken N Beer is worthy of any Romero film, and while the image alone escalates the WTF factor as high as it could possibly go, the fact that the album is called CHICKEN N Beer makes it that much more bewildering.

Shouldn’t it really be HUMAN FLESH N BEER instead? Damn, boys, put some more thought into these titles…don’t fool around now, give us the cannibal rap and stop teasing.

Continue reading WTF Album Covers Ludacris Chicken N Beer →

WTF Album Covers: Holiday Hell

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Bad album covers are funny enough…but when the holiday shopping season kicks in, they get an extra dimension of wretchedness that is too fun to pass up. Who wouldn’t buy one of these for the awfulness alone? I am going to FRAME these lil bastids one of these days and put them up along with the tinsel and lights:

If you saw THIS guy strumming away on TV over the holidays, you’d swear it was an episode of Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show. But it’s not. It’s just that you’ve died and gone to hell.

Die, Jimmy Buffet. Die, die, die. You have given me Christmas nightmares now for all eternity.

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I don’t even want to know what THIS bunch is on about. It looks like a prison lineup, but ESPECIALLY the guy on the far left. What the hell’s going on in THIS gent’s head? Images of sugarplums, no doubt, slicing up the neighborhood winos and barbecuing pets on a wood stove.

Xmas with Slim Whitman? Not if you were the LAST creepy looking dude in a smoking jacket left on Earth. I repeat, Slim Whitman, STOP TOUCHING ME THERE.

But the greatest holiday terror has been saved for last. Brace yourself for the eternal horror of….

This Liberace album cover image was originally 666 pixels wide. Really.

WTF Album Covers: Donny Osmond Disco Train

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Brace yourself.

There are three really awful things going on in this photograph. #1- Donny Osmond is wearing a cape. #2, he’s also wearing flared trousers. #3–Donny Osmond is wearing a FRICKIN CAPE.

Why were so many singers obsessed with trains in the 70s?Donny Osmond isn’t the only one, there’s a ton of singles featuring the locomotive; Love Train, City of New Orleans, Train in Vain, you name it…people, there are OTHER MEANS OF TRANSPORTATION TO SING ABOUT. Enough with the damn trains already. Nobody writes a ballad about a unicycle or a pair of rollerblades, do they? No. They write about bleedin’ TRAINS.

Donny here wants to simultaneously derail a train and kill all the passengers AND destroy this Elton-John-wet-dream piano in the process. This photograph is clearly an indication that Donny Osmond is predisposed to domestic terrorism and he should be investigated by the FBI and the TSA.

But I keep coming back to THE CAPE. Why? It’s bad enough that Donny Osmond has another record out, but the cape really tears it for me. “Does Liberace know you’re raiding his wardrobe?” Continue reading WTF Album Covers: Donny Osmond Disco Train →

WTF Album Covers: Raven The Pack Is Back

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Brace yourself; what follows is one of the most brain-twistingly wrongheaded album covers in heavy metal history. What WERE these lunks thinking when they approved THIS image to sell their album for Atlantic Records?

WOW! This is a staggering achievement. It manages to be cheesy, stupid, AND sports related at the same time! According to the legend of this pile of flaming crap, a corporate label hack got a hold of this band, pressured them to make the record as commercial as possible and these poor metal schmucks wound up having HORNS and KEYTARS overdubbed on their record.

I’m no fan of metal, but I can sympathize with a band that has its musical vision turned into the sonic equivalent of Sesame Street but a guy in a necktie. Poor, misguided Raven. They should have told the photographer AND the corporate hack to get stuffed…but what can you do? Except brace yourself for inclusion in the Hall of Shame.