Category Archives: editorial

WTF Bad Album Covers Lil’ Flip The Leprechaun

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WTF bad album covers lil flip the leprechaun

What in the world were they thinking on THIS one? One music blogger writing for the Houston Press declares this the WORST hip hop cover in the history of the Houston scene. We’ll go that one better and say that this is simply one of the worst album covers, like, ever. Nothing says, “Hey, take me seriously” like a guy dressed up like the Lucky Charms mascot.

Gotta give Lil’ Flip points for originality in one respect–he’s not pointing a gun at the cover, standing against a brick wall with his arms folded and his chin stuck in the air like a weathervane, or making some ding-dong finger exercises that are supposed to indicate which side of the street he lives on. So good on you for that.

Ever since Lil’ Kim gained traction in the music industry, hip hop and related sounds has suffered from a veritable flood of “me too” rappers and hip hoppers all trying to get some of that “lil” magic to rub off on them. Seems pathetic, doesn’t? Lil Flip is only one of a shameful crop of intellectually bankrupt me too-ers. My question for all these Lil’ guys–do you want to be known as Lil ANYTHING when you’re FORTY? I didn’t think so. We can NEVER forgive Lil Kim for unleashing this torrent of Lil knockoffs.

Behold the list of the damned, courtesy of Wikipedia.

Hows about somebody calling themselves Lil Dumbass?

WTF Bad Album Covers: Dolly Parton Bubbling Over

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wtf bad album covers dolly parton bubbling overby Joe Wallace

If I saw the disembodied head of Dolly Parton floating in MY lawn sprinkler system, I wouldn’t know whether to shoot myself in the head or start screaming for an exorcist, but one thing’s for sure–I wouldn’t stand idly by waiting for the hideous jabbering head of Dolly Parton to start uttering blasphemies in Etruscan and summoning demons in the middle of the yard.

The most WTF part of this wretched album cover is the fact that–unless my eyes deceive me–that’s Dolly Parton standing at the back of this scene, watching her OWN HEAD floating on the sprinkler spray. How effed up is THAT? What is this cover saying about the mental state of the singer?

Seems to me that Dolly Parton’s dual personality crisis has manifested itself on this album–this cover is a cry for help. “Please save me from myself!” Dolly is shrieking. That’s not a smile on her face, that’s the rictus grin of someone who has either died recently or has been injected with a lethal dose of botox and rabies.

Or it’s the facial expression of someone who GETS that the cover art concepts sucks the root, but has been held hostage by the record company. “Dolly, if you don’t do this album cover JUST THE WAY WE SAY, we’ll electrocute a puppy. AND we’ll cut off your electrolysis treatments. Got it? You WANT hairy nipples? Go ahead, give us trouble.”

WTF Bad Album Covers: The Worst So Far?

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WTF bad album covers mazaradi fox and the dumoutsby Joe Wallace

There are some people who tell me that picking on rap albums is like shooting fish in a barrel. There are so very many bad album covers in the rap, hip hop, metal, and singer/songwriter genres that it’s almost a cop-out to post one in any of these genres. You wouldn’t believe how many album covers I turn down for posting here because they just aren’t rotten enough.

And then there’s this one. Another example of truth in advertising in the genre, the band has the word “dumb” in its name so you already know what to expect–contentwise we’re probably talking the equivalent of a lyric sheet from any Blink 182 record. You want deep thoughts? Go read some James Joyce. If you’re looking for utter bewilderment, this is a fine and dandy album cover to gaze upon.

What’s the deal with the dude holding the machete? The One Way sign over the thanksgiving turkey makes me think of food poisoning for some reason…and the tilty baseball caps make these gents look like grade school kids out ready to go running after the ice cream truck. Hard core street survivors? Not on this album cover. More like Leave It To Beaver. Tomorrow I’ll look at this and think that the guy on the bottom left looks like Cat from Red Dwarf, but today it’s all about the ice cream truck. Maybe I’ve been listening to far too much KLF for my own good.

I imagine the conversation about this picture going something like this. “Hey, we gotta get a COVER on this mess. What do you want to put on it? I’m thinking about turkeys. And place settings. And big fluffly clouds. But make sure you get some mad faces on there too so people don’t think we’re a bunch of sissies.”