Category Archives: editorial

Cross Country Vinyl Chase Day Two part two

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What a long strange vinyl bughunt it has been…From Chicago to San Antonio, I am now halfway through the driving insanity. Tuesday is OKC and Dallas…maybe even Denton if I feel REALLY sexy. I might just, after the stuff I was hearing all around me today at the record emporiums.

The following was overheard in one of the record shops I hit today–people with cell phones talking very loudly never know when they’re going to get their 15 minutes of fame. But when people are practically shouting this crap in your ear, it deserves a second go.

“Yaww, yew jist pour it in yore pee. Maik shore thu kristles are all, you know, like, dissolved and all or you’ll fail the teyust.” It was a 50-something woman who looked like an office drone. She sounded like a backwoods Tim Leary.

Then, ten minutes later, a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON on the phone. “Yah, yah, you just pour the little envelope of crystals into your pee. Look to see if it changes color. You only go about three ounces of pee anyway, don’t worry about it!”

In Springfield, Missouri, we now know people like to put additives in their pee. Should I ever go back there?

And then…

shari lewis vinyl LP

Oh, but she looks far too INTO having that puppet so near…where is her OTHER hand?

But wait, there’s more. Just in case you hadn’t quite finished playing a game of canasta with the Moosehead Lodge brothers, here come Herb Alpert to trumpet you TO DEATH. That sticker boldly proclaims that this is the very very FIRSTEST TIME IN THE WHOLE OF FOREVER that A Taste of Honey has been released as a picture disc. I’m touching myself even as I write this, I am so excited about the idea of this picture disc EVEN EXISTING. A bargain at twice the price, eh Eugene? Yeah, daddy-o. Let’s take the Galaxy 500 for a spin to the malt shop. No, wait, wrong culture. Martinis, everybody?

a taste of honey reissue picture disc

Just when you thought it was safe to fire up the record player, another face from the past comes back at you like a spoiled cinema hotdog. I’m so tired from driving that I can only hope that last line made as much sense to you as it currently does to me.

Taco Puttin On The Ritz

I still owe record shop reviews a plenty. Vinyl Exchange, CD Warehouse in Springfield, MO and tomorrow’s Guest Room Records invasion. Brace yourself.

Vinyl Road Trip Day One: St. Louis LP Frenzy

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VINLY ROAD TRIP DAY ONE ST LOUIS 027

by Joe Wallace

This is the view outside the famous St. Louis vinyl paradise, Vintage Vinyl–one of three stops on Day One of the first-ever Turntabling vinyl road trip from hell. It’s tough to choose name for this–Vinyl Road Rage 09 sounds like some dumbass MTV show, and Vinyl Road Trip sounds so bloody generic…whatever. The finds are the important thing.

And what finds there were! I’m on a bug hunt for the strange, the unusual, the unmistakably freakish and wrong…and a few dub and soundtrack LPs, too. One the freaky front, there was no shortage of material–who on EARTH thought THIS was a good idea?

VINLY ROAD TRIP DAY ONE ST LOUIS 016

I mean, sweet JESUS, this clown looks like he’s about ready to take some hostages and start screaming “DOG DAY AFTERNOON!”

And then there’s this little beauty, discovered in the “educational/how-to” LP section at Vintage Vinyl amid the typing instructional LPs and the “My Life In My Own Words” album by Douglas MacArthur. No commentary needed here, but I do want to meet the family that’s putting this idea into practice. And buy a half ounce off them:

VINLY ROAD TRIP DAY ONE ST LOUIS 030

I have plenty to write about both Vintage Vinyl and Record Exchange, both located in St. Louis, but I’ll save those for another post.  I just wanted to get something up here and say to all the new followers on Twitter and such THANK YOU FOR THE RE-TWEETS! I really appreciate it. To recap…I am now in full road trip mode, on a vinyl hunt that started out in Chicago and will go round trip via St. Louis (today’s leg), Springfield and Joplin Missouri, Oklahoma City and Norman OK, Dallas, Austin and San Antonio, Texas…whew!

If you know of any good indie record shops or places to buy vinyl along this route (I-55, I44, I 35), please drop me a comment and let me know, I’d love to take a side journey along the way!

Vinyl Buying Road Trip

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turntabling road trip

Today, the great Turntabling road trip begins–a long, winding journey by rail and by car in search of black wax platters-the odd, the unusual, and the obscure. Staring in Chicago, ending in San Antonio, Texas, the road winds through two Springfields (Illinois and Missouri), Oklahoma City and Norman, Dallas, Austin and finally San Antonio. There will be blog posts along the way and it should be an amusing voyage, to be sure.

The best part about a trip like this is the frequent stops, and if you know of an indie record store that definitely must be seen along the way (I-55 to I44, I-44 to I-35 is roughly THE journey, pretty simple, eh?) please drop a line in the comments section. This is a first for Turntabling, it should be an excellent adventure. More updates from the road!

Fail: Rolling Stone Smoking Section on Worst Album Covers Ever

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There was some excitement in the air at the discovery of Rolling Stone’s Smoking Section on Worst Album Covers Ever. But joy turned to annoyance when it was discovered that RS only had the wherewithal to post a single, vaguely cruddy (but not truly hideous) album cover by somebody called Mike Bones.

They couldn’t go the distance apparently, and even though there was a desperate five minute (ok, two-and-a-half minute) search to find more Worst Album Covers Ever pages in the Smoking Section, it was clear that some doofus intern had been turned loose on this project before getting canned for stealing Jann Wenner’s weed or putting his naughty bits in the executive drinking fountain.

Here’s the merely lame-o album cover Rolling Stone saw fit to brand as one of the worst album covers ever:

Mike Bones bad album coverThis cover looks a bit like some kind of Jonas Brothers backstage blackmail photo–the kind you mail to the victim with the idea that there’s more where that came from and ten times as naughty. “Tell the Brothers if they don’t pony up the dough, we send out those pictures of the lads stuffing their greased, drooping willies into the light socket.” Continue reading Fail: Rolling Stone Smoking Section on Worst Album Covers Ever →