Turntabling in HorrorHound #27 “The Sounds of Argento Part 2”

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by Joe Wallace

Turntabling strikes again in the pages of HorrorHound magazine. In issue 27, the Vincent Price edition, you’ll find part two of my Sounds of Argento article, which has gotten some very kind words from horror soundtrack lovers across the country. THANK YOU!

Turntabling has long been proud to be associated with Horrorhound in any capacity, from simply attending the Horrorhound Weekend shows to running the Turntabling booth there, and now in the pages of HH these last two issues along with regulars Jon Kitley from Kitley’s Krypt and Matt Moore who does the always fun Tapes of Terror column.

HorrorHound doesn’t have a regular soundtrack column, but they might be tempted to add one if enough people wrote in to suggest such a thing. Drop ’em a line at contactus@horrorhound.com. In the meantime, have a look at HorrorHound #27 and not just for the Sounds of Argento article–this is a VERY solid issue!

WTF Album Covers: Bein’ Smarmy For Jesus

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Rednecks, inbreeders, peckerwoods, southern-friend jeezo-grovelers and mother-of-pearl button shirt wearing evangelist sweat machines abound, but few are as proud of their ignorance as some of THESE geniuses.

Sex…and the FEMALE? You’ve got to be kidding, right? The FEMALE? Is this guy studying Bonobo mating habits or is he talking about HUMAN FEMALES? The last time I heard anybody refer to a woman as “a female” it was right before he was about to try and make her into a meal for the happy cannibal family in some 70s slasher atrocity. This Jay Snell fellow as DAMAGE.

If the aliens spaceships made it all the way to Earth from wherever it is they’re from, if they see THIS jackass floating around in orbit around the planet, they’ll just set the deathrays to “incinerate/obliterate” and fire away without thinking twice. Look at that HAIR…we deserve to be oblivionized for tolerating this walking abomination on our Earth, and in our record stores. Did I mention that I own this?

I don’t care how much Jesus loves me, I’d never close my eyes around this guy. The look on his face in this particular image makes me think he either wants to EAT me or harvest my organs. Maybe he wants to make a pair of leather man-panties out of my flesh. Yeah, that’s the vibe I’m getting off this.

This album cover is merely lame instead of laugh-inducingly stupid, but come on, it’s Jimmy “I Have Sinned Against You” Swaggart. The man who routinely and repeatedly paid for hookers he wouldn’t even attempt to have sex with. Not only is that completely financially stupid, but…wait, it’s just plain stupid. This album would be funnier if it were DEAD From Nashville and Swaggart were made up as a zombie. But then again, he’s lived most of his life as one, so what’s the dif?

This collection of “humorous” gospel songs would be less frightening if Bob Larson didn’t look like he wants to rip off all my skin with a potato peeler and push me into a salt bath. For Jesus. The expression on his face says he’s either not getting enough fiber or getting far too much. It’s impossible to tell from this angle, but there is SOMETHING going on back there.

–Joe Wallace

Native Instruments Traktor Kontrol X1 USB DJ Controller

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by Joe Wallace

I use Traktor in my studio as a sort of hybrid recording tool as well as DJ mixer. I like to pull samples from my own music, mash them up, resample and resequence them to create freakish new music out of my back catalog of weirdness.

I have a Numark Total DJ USB controller that I could use in all this, but I’m lazy and just mash the buttons on the Mac instead. But this Traktor controller could get me back off the laptop keyboard. I don’t own one…yet.

The Traktor Kontrol X1 USB DJ controller is right up my alley for one important reason–there are NO SCRATCHING CONTROLS on this thing. It’s purely for controlling the effects, the settings, the triggers, volume, etc.

This is bewildering to some of my DJ friends. But I cut my DJ teeth in FM radio where controls set up like this were in wide use–it’s a familiar configuration that has the linear approach the Numark Total DJ setup doesn’t.

Maybe it’s MY DAMAGE–I just like that vertical configuration better. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the Numark…but it doesn’t make sense to my FM radio-trained DJ hands the way this one would.

Call me a wingnut. After all, you can get used to any gear setup if you play with it long enough. This just appeals to my aesthetics more, that’s all. I will say this though—I still don’t DJ exclusively in the digital realm. That’s one of the reasons why I like this configuration–I’m using three technologies at once, and the setup on the Traktor Kontrol conforms to the other stuff in my setup. When I buy this, rest assured there will be a test-drive here…


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WTF Album Covers: Caramel Photoshop Horror

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Viewing this album cover makes one feel there ought to be a law forbidding the unlicensed use of Photoshop for artistic purposes. Some kind of regulatory oversight is needed to prevent eye pollution from degrading our record store shelves, iTunes shopping carts and Napster downloads. Otherwise, I might have to gouge out both my eyes.

On a different note, is that Eugene Levy’s face?