Hey kids, look at our new, less cluttery layout! To celebrate, here’s a truly wretched album cover that evokes both feelings of WTF and RUN AWAY. Clown imagery, however displayed, is truly the kiss of death on any record cover. Even when ( or especially when?) said clowns are jammed onto a naked, willing model.
Seriously, people, what’s up with the matching outfits? If you stare at these facial expressions long enough, you might be able to detect a note of “HELP ME” in their eyes. Were these people HOSTAGES?
The word “Polka” on the title should be enough to send any sensible person screaming down the street begging for a bullet to offer merciful release from the utter terror and sonic torture that is an entire LP full of the damn things. But somehow enough polka records sold to justify producing even more. Can someone PLEASE explain what it is about the polka that makes people sit down and listen to records like this without any threat of punishment whatsoever?
And speaking of punishment…
“Um, heh heh, huh huh, yeah. It’s like, you know, METAL. And it’s like, huh huh, a WOLF. Heh heh, huh huh. Heh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Metal. Heh. Wolf. The only thing that would make this album cover any COOLER is if there were some TURDS on it. Heh heh, huh huh. Cuz that would RULE.”
Seriously?
Oh, the prison tats on the little kid…I’m sure SOMEBODY thought that was CUTE. How cute is it? Well, let’s see what that bastion of accuracy Wikipedia has to say:
“The teardrop tattoo or tear tattoo is a symbolic tattoo that is placed underneath the eye. It has no fixed meaning but almost all meanings have some connection to prison. In the United States, it can mean the wearer has killed someone and the number of teardrops may indicate the number of killings. It can also indicate the number of years served in prison or the loss of a loved one or fellow gang member.
In at least one prison, (Oaxaca State) it indicates that the wearer was raped in prison.”
Ohhhhhh dear.
The WTF factor on this album art by Mew is so high that you might get a nosebleed while contemplating its awfulness. Fortunately for this band, the music itself does not choke the way the cover does.
And The Glass Handed Kits features music that sounds a bit like a more pop-oriented (and less uber-trippy) Gang Gang Dance. There’s an epic quality to many of the tracks on this record that are totally misrepresented by this violently awful cover. Though it has to be said, they manage to veer excruciatingly off into Neil Young “Harvest” territory at times…and do we really need anybody besides Neil Young warbling away like that? Er, not realllllly.
Ignore the cover and try to head toward the experimental pop portions of this Mew record. You can preview bits of all tracks at the Mew And The Glass Handed Kites Amazon page.