You know which way THIS pizza party is going when you read the word “accordion” underneath Joe Biviano’s name. That’s right, there may be plenty of pizza, but this is NOT what the cool kids would call a party. More like everlasting torment. Pray for death, it’s the only way to escape what’s next when the needle drops.
Or, I suppose, you could just leave. But what kind of lasting statement would THAT make? Continue reading WTF Album Covers: Pizza Apocalypse
What is it about the French and the goofy faces on their album covers? A great deal of the bad album art I’ve seen this year has some kind of face-pulling on the cover. This one I truly don’t get, but they would probably say that’s because I’m just a stupid cowboy. We can thank Reagan for that stereotype, no doubt.
The blue face paint and robot outfit (or is that a radiation suit?) are completely bewildering. Maybe this is some kind of retro/future Braveheart thing.
Bad album covers are funny enough…but when the holiday shopping season kicks in, they get an extra dimension of wretchedness that is too fun to pass up. Who wouldn’t buy one of these for the awfulness alone? I am going to FRAME these lil bastids one of these days and put them up along with the tinsel and lights:
If you saw THIS guy strumming away on TV over the holidays, you’d swear it was an episode of Tim and Eric’s Awesome Show. But it’s not. It’s just that you’ve died and gone to hell.
Die, Jimmy Buffet. Die, die, die. You have given me Christmas nightmares now for all eternity.
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I don’t even want to know what THIS bunch is on about. It looks like a prison lineup, but ESPECIALLY the guy on the far left. What the hell’s going on in THIS gent’s head? Images of sugarplums, no doubt, slicing up the neighborhood winos and barbecuing pets on a wood stove.
Xmas with Slim Whitman? Not if you were the LAST creepy looking dude in a smoking jacket left on Earth. I repeat, Slim Whitman, STOP TOUCHING ME THERE.
But the greatest holiday terror has been saved for last. Brace yourself for the eternal horror of….
This Liberace album cover image was originally 666 pixels wide. Really.
Brace yourself; what follows is one of the most brain-twistingly wrongheaded album covers in heavy metal history. What WERE these lunks thinking when they approved THIS image to sell their album for Atlantic Records?
WOW! This is a staggering achievement. It manages to be cheesy, stupid, AND sports related at the same time! According to the legend of this pile of flaming crap, a corporate label hack got a hold of this band, pressured them to make the record as commercial as possible and these poor metal schmucks wound up having HORNS and KEYTARS overdubbed on their record.
I’m no fan of metal, but I can sympathize with a band that has its musical vision turned into the sonic equivalent of Sesame Street but a guy in a necktie. Poor, misguided Raven. They should have told the photographer AND the corporate hack to get stuffed…but what can you do? Except brace yourself for inclusion in the Hall of Shame.