Monthly Archives: March 2009

I’m Breaking My Own Rule About Music Blogs

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I have a little rule about reviews. “Don’t waste time talking about blogs you don’t like” has been my golden rule for a long, long time. When I was writing print ‘zines in San Antonio, I was a LOT more fearless–I’d routinely trash stuff I didn’t like. I once had a long conversation with some people from a gothity/bondage outfit called Flesh Fetish–they took issue with me for groaning about their goth night S&M lite shows at a local club called the Cameo.

I still think that stuff is silly, but today I wouldn’t bother to talk trash about it. If folks want to indulge in some light spanking in between endless repeats of “Lucretia My Reflection” and “Tragedy For You”, let ’em. (When it was all said and done, I think my biggest objection to that stuff was the way the crowd gathered round with that “Ooooh! BOOBIES!” vibe.

So all that leads me to this 80s music blog on About.com. I’ve said elsewhere that About.com is about as useful as bondage trousers on a corpse, especially for the writers who managed to score writing gigs as Guides. I have the funny feeling this writer is getting pressure from his About.com masters to steer into middle-of-the-road territory. There was a nice review of fIREHOSE which gave me hope–fIREHOSE is great fun even if they never get close to the full-on glory of the Minutemen.

But I can ONLY imagine the gulag-like conditions that exist for those who scribble for About.com–I picture some sort of steroid-enhanced hulk of a guard standing over a row of cubicles, beating the writers until they produce headlines like this actual example from the 80s music blog:

’80s Duo Hall & Oates Boasts Plenty of Quality If No Surplus of Coolness

Ok, kids…Hall & Oates might have dabbled in new wave, they might have been great for laughs, you might even have gotten lucky to them if you went to high school in the 80s…but there is NO amount of marijuana that will EVER convince me that the words COOL and HALL & OATES should EVER go together.

I feel for the guy who writes this blog, I really do. I think maybe he’s being held hostage in the hills of Columbia somewhere, writing this stuff at gunpoint in fear of his life. If you know of his whereabouts, please get in touch so we can send a rescue mission in there to get him back. Then he can start writing about The Minutemen, Polyrock,  and DEVO instead.

VinylAlbum.com

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jimi-hendrix-electric-lady-land-naked-cover

What you’re looking at here is a Jimi Hendrix Experience album cover for Electric Ladyland…sold on eBay as a rarity with bids higher than $400. I found a link to this, and plenty of other lustworthy collector/obsessive items at VinylAlbum.com. The site is a clearinghouse of eBay LP auctions, expertly broken down into specific categories for easy negotiation.

There’s some really good stuff here–I’m no die-hard, condition-obsessive, climate controlled record vault guy (I buy my vinyl to PLAY) but there is some really interesting stuff linked to here. Naturally the stuff on sale today is gone next week, but the “Psyche” category and rare covers collection is definitely worth a look.  An impressive display, to say the least. Vinyl junkies, take note.

Blacula Soundtrack: Awesome 70s Funk

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blacula-soundtrack-gene-page-hues-corporation

You can laugh all you want, but I am totally digging the Blacula soundtrack. It’s been on the speakers practically non-stop since I found it. This is a hell of an album–massively funky, and totally 70s. It features some outstanding work by Gene Page, but also has three tracks by a pre “Rock the Boat” Hues Corporation. Another group called 21st Century Ltd. also makes a showing. Gene Page absolutely tears it up with “Stalkwalk”, check the YouTube clip below to hear this…fantastic.

Blacula as a movie was a hell of a lot of fun. This movie wanted very badly to be a corny piece of crap at times, but William Marshall stole the movie back as the head vampire. Marshall, a Shakeaspear vet with  huge screen  presence, managed to inject some actual humanity into the part. Thalmus Rasulala is great as a reluctant, the inner-city Van Helsing-type. But back to the music. There aren’t many clinkers on this album–only one, really. That’s saying a lot for a soundtrack album.  If you have Tarantino-retro damage or genuinely love the old 60s and 70s styles, grab this one and fast. It’s hard to find on vinyl, but you can still score it on a big round platter if you look hard enough.


WTF #3: Millie Jackson Squeezes Out a Few Hits

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If there is a Hell, it’s reserved for the people who thought THIS ALBUM COVER was a GOOD IDEA.

Let me see if I understand this situation correctly. Millie Jackson, having quit her day job and staked her future on a singing career, looked at all her album cover options, and after due deliberation decided this photo of her on the crapper was THE BEST way to represent the recorded material.

How’d that singing career work out for ya, Millie?

On the other hand, maybe this album cover is the god’s honest truth; perhaps the album sounds like shit and this is just a rare instance of truthful packaging.

Just LOOK at that picture–this woman positively DWARFS that toilet. She must be linebacker-sized, and I shudder to think about the aftermath of this photo shoot. The expression on Millie Jackson’s face lets you know you’ll wear a similar grimace once the needle drops on this steaming turd of a record.