Monthly Archives: April 2009

Milty Zerostat: For Fanatics Only?

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milty-zerostatDoes anybody reading this blog actually OWN one of these? Behold the Milty Zerostat, advertised as a dust-remover for vinyl records. It shoots out a stream of ions when you pull the trigger–ions that are supposed to rid your LPs of nasty pops and clicks caused by dust (which is attracted by an electrostatic charge on your records).

The Zerostat, according to the marketing hype, removes the electrostatic charge that attracts the dust. Zap the album, clean it off, and play away! So sayeth the hype. Does this actually work? I’d love to get a first-person report. At a triple-digit price tag, this one looks like it’s a collector-only gadget, but I’d love to see it in action and hear the results.

Wanted: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls LP

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For reasons not even J.R. “Bob” Dobbs could possibly understand, I’ve become fixated with finding an LP copy of Russ Meyer’s Beyond The Valley of the Dolls soundtrack. I know I could order this from some schlub on eBay in all likelihood, but I’d rather deal direct with someone who ISN’T charging $75 for it. I want to LISTEN to it, not put it under glass and fondle myself while LOOKING AT IT.

If you have a copy you want to sell, drop me a line on Twitter, I’m at Twitter.com/Turntabling. Thanks in advance!

WTF: Porter Wagoner’s The Bottom of the Bottle

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Porter Wagoner may have been one of the legends of country music, but the dudes who approved the artwork for his records were clearly smoking Jimson weed for this one. Just WTF is going on with this picture, anyway?

Wagoner looks like he’s contemplating drinking this rotgut in spite of the fact that there’s a little man inside. “Hey Porter, over here! Look, you don’t wanna drink this. I just wee’d inside this bottle and it smells like a homeless shelter. Fer chrissakes, Porter…DON’T DRINK MEEEEEEEEE!”

The expression on Porter Wagoner’s face is priceless. It’s a cross between “Goddamn, I really want to tie one on here,” and “I wonder if free will is an artificial construct of the human mind or if it’s a crucial part of what makes our all-too-brief existence what it is?”

Or perhaps it’s kidney stones.

Scoring on Record Store Day

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It was a long crazy week, hence the dearth of posts here, but it all culminated in a lovely score on Record Store Day including the following:

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Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 on delicious vinly! Too bad it’s not blood red vinyl, but this one’s tough to find these days, apparently. I won’t say how much I paid for it, and while the cover left much to be desired (plenty of abuse on the reverse) the vinyl itself is quite yummy.

mondo-cane-sountrack-vinyl-lp

I confess I’ve never seen Mondo Cane as I’ve never had an interest in the Mondo genre, but Riz Ortolani is the same guy behind the Cannibal Holocaust soundtrack and I liked those sounds rather a lot. Nice stuff. A melange of styles from R.O.

heavy-metal-soundtrack-album

Here’s a quiz. How many of these bands are actually Heavy Metal? How about exactly ONE of them. The others can safely be called Jurassic Rock. Stevie Nicks? WTF? Of course, back when this one came out, some people thought Peter Frampton was “metal”. That was before the internet, when people were dumber.

johnny-rivers-satanist

On this album cover, for Realization, Johnny Rivers is supposed to look like a hippie, but this presentation really makes him look like he’s about to be inducted as an acolyte of the Church of Satan. I think it’s the red and purple. I LOVE this album cover and am seriously considering having one framed and matted, but only if I can hang it side by side with some kind of hideous Porter Wagoner cover for contrast.

I scored plenty of other vinyl, but these were a few of my favorites. I give serious thought to selling vinyl records here on Turntabling…stay tuned as this might actually happen in a few weeks.