Category Archives: album

WTF #3: Millie Jackson Squeezes Out a Few Hits

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If there is a Hell, it’s reserved for the people who thought THIS ALBUM COVER was a GOOD IDEA.

Let me see if I understand this situation correctly. Millie Jackson, having quit her day job and staked her future on a singing career, looked at all her album cover options, and after due deliberation decided this photo of her on the crapper was THE BEST way to represent the recorded material.

How’d that singing career work out for ya, Millie?

On the other hand, maybe this album cover is the god’s honest truth; perhaps the album sounds like shit and this is just a rare instance of truthful packaging.

Just LOOK at that picture–this woman positively DWARFS that toilet. She must be linebacker-sized, and I shudder to think about the aftermath of this photo shoot. The expression on Millie Jackson’s face lets you know you’ll wear a similar grimace once the needle drops on this steaming turd of a record.

Never Mind The Bollocks Here’s The Sex Pistols Vinyl Album

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Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols LP

The one and only. Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The Sex Pistols really should be heard in its vinyl glory. Mind you, this is NOT the original pressing, so before you start salivating all over your tartan bondage trousers, know that according to Amazon, this is a 2008 repressing. That said, vinyl really IS the best way to listen to this record.

All the classics are here and no mucking about with “bonus tracks” or “remixes”. On other releases, that would be a good thing, but for this, give us the original Pistols and their very very very snotty record, please.

And now for your viewing pleasure, the full force of the Sex Pistols as unleashed on their television debut for none other than the late, great Tony Wilson–who sought them out after having his head completely done in by a legendary, but underattended Pistols gig at the Manchester Lesser Free Trade Hall. This clip has Glen Matlock on bass, none of that cartoony Sid Vicious crap that would come later. Best part of this vid is the semi-chaos that happens as some doofus tosses furniture onstage. According to Tony Wilson, the applause was dubbed in, the original stark silence Lydon was staring into at the end was far more powerful. You be the judge.


WTF #2: Religious Cougar Seeks New Prey

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Sometimes I run across others on the web who collect wretched albums or, at the very least, the godawful art that disgraces the covers of those LPs. My newest find is LP Cover Lover, and my only gripe with this site is that you can’t listen to the awfulness, you can only look.

The amount of cluelessness on display with THIS particular album is staggering. Just look at that gravity-defying hair! In spite of the TWO bibles on display on this LP cover, I find Mattie McFerrin sending mixed messages. Is that some kind of backwoods “come hither” look she’s giving us here? And check out the threads on this Bible studyin’ throwback of love…she’s got her shirt partially unbuttoned in a wanton display of sexual abandon matched only by the vest, which has even MORE buttons unfastened…trying to lure young devotees to her study with her sexually charged musical gyrations, no doubt.

Keep a lamp shining bright, if only so Mattie McFerrin can do a slow, religious striptease for the flock…this Christly cougar is on the prowl!

That Pizza Does NOT Look Appetizing

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Back in the days when vinyl records and turntables were in widespread, everyday use, people didn’t have the Internet, cell phones or TiVo. People used to get into their cars and drive to outdoor theaters, make out, smoke a spliff and watch a double feature. Drive-in culture was fun, and some drive-ins survive to this day–including the 66 Drive-In located in Springfield, Illinois, another near Dayton Ohio, and yet another–the Mission Drive-In just on the outskirts of San Antonio, Texas. I’m sure there are more, but those are three that I’ve actually been to.

In case you haven’t guessed by now, I’m a fan of a lot of retro culture, not just LPs and turntable-related stuff. One of the things I love about the cult of both modern and retro turntables is the preponderance of the “What were they THINKING?” factor. (And the legitimately cool stuff is nice, too.)

When it comes to retro drive-in culture, I can think of no better example of that than this clip: