Category Archives: album

That Pizza Does NOT Look Appetizing

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snack-bar-pizza

Back in the days when vinyl records and turntables were in widespread, everyday use, people didn’t have the Internet, cell phones or TiVo. People used to get into their cars and drive to outdoor theaters, make out, smoke a spliff and watch a double feature. Drive-in culture was fun, and some drive-ins survive to this day–including the 66 Drive-In located in Springfield, Illinois, another near Dayton Ohio, and yet another–the Mission Drive-In just on the outskirts of San Antonio, Texas. I’m sure there are more, but those are three that I’ve actually been to.

In case you haven’t guessed by now, I’m a fan of a lot of retro culture, not just LPs and turntable-related stuff. One of the things I love about the cult of both modern and retro turntables is the preponderance of the “What were they THINKING?” factor. (And the legitimately cool stuff is nice, too.)

When it comes to retro drive-in culture, I can think of no better example of that than this clip:


WTF of the Week: Satan Is Real by The Louvin Brothers

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wtf-inuagural-satan-is-real-album-cover
I saw this album cover and a whole new series of Turntabling posts was born. WTF is our brand new series of unbelievable album art…make that REALLY DUMB and ILL-ADVISED album art. Let’s kick off the inaugural edition of WTF with SATAN IS REAL.

With songs like Satan’s Jeweled Crown, The Drunkard’s Doom, and of course the title track Satan Is Real, you’d be well within your rights to guess that this album is by some brain-dead Swedish death metal outfit named Kronktor or Circus Satanicus. But one glance at the album cover shows a couple of mindless country preacher boys quite confused about whether this is supposed to be a southern gospel record or a gleeful, undies-twisting celebration of Our Dark Lord Lucifer.

Just LOOK at this silly shit. These guys appear to be WELCOMING YOU TO HELL instead of getting ready to deliver the corn-fed gospel to you dripping with barbecue sauce and near-beer. And do I interpret that album cover correctly? In the upper right hand corner it seems to read “Part 1”. Looks like these cornpone cuzzin-lovers were planning a series, Lucas-style. If they could get themselves out of Hell, that is. The album cover makes it look like the Louvins are there to stay.

Is it just me, or did this album–released in 1960–anticipate Matt Parker and Trey Stone’s Satan by, oh, FORTY YEARS?

Here’s the best part. You can STILL BUY THIS NONSENSE. It’s available as an MP3 download from Amazon.com, or if you MUST you can purchase a physical copy to keep under your pillow when you’re cowering under the covers, hoping the Elder Gods don’t come to gnaw off your forehead.

Oh, and by the way–rumor has it that the Louvin Brothers created that fire-n-brimstone set themselves and nearly burned up real good when the flames started going haywire. That’ll teach you southern gospel boys to mess with the Debbil’s tools.

Space 1999 Soundtrack Vinyl

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space-1999-soundtrack-vinyl

Paul Durango’s fun blog features this vinyl soundtrack from Space 1999, the least scientifically accurate of all the science fictions television to come out of the cheesy 70s.  Durango found the album, and offers a zipped digital version for your listening pleasure. The soundtrack is full of cornball 70s wah-wah guitar playing, moody atmospherics and the requisite sighing string section and echoey xylophones. You could download a whole mess of Barry Gray’s Space 1999 soundtrack music from Amazon, but do yourself a favor and check out Paul Durango’s post first.

On a side note, some of the reviews for the CD/download version of the soundtrack are almost as funny as the series itself. One breathless reviewer gushes, “Our composer Barry Gray writes powerful cues that will make any youngster and adults alike leap for joy.”

Leap for joy? What the hell is THIS guy taking? I want some.

Behold the pure 70s style queso of the original intro. Revel in THIS cornball nonsense–still great for laughs after all these years. You really need a six pack or some kind of plantlife to properly enjoy this, but this is the epitome of 1970s boob tube-dom in all its’ hilariously wretched excess. I mean, really–the main conceit of this show is that the moon has been knocked out of its orbit and is sailing through space with 300 people living on it!


Nico Striptease

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nico-striptease

My new favorite music blog is BlowupDoll, which recently featured a Nico/Serge Gainsbourg single called Striptease. I hate to link directly to the file, but there’s no blog post addy to link to on this one, just the main URL. Needless to say, any fan of these sounds should take a long look at BlowupDoll. Bravo.

As for the track itself, why does Nico’s chanteuse stuff all sound like the Velvet Underground on quaaludes? For the full duration of this single, I keep waiting for John Cale to start grinding away on the viola. This is a great-sounding single, but hearing Nico’s voice on this track puts that image from The Night Porter in my head. Don’t ask me why, I can’t explain. Swap out that hat, though, sweetie. Got anything in LA Motorcycle Cop circa 1981? Now THAT would be sexy.


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