Tag Archives: bad album covers

WTF: Ted Nugent Love Grenade

ted nugent love grenade album cover

Ted Nugent’s cover for the 2007 greatest hits collection, Love Grenade, isn’t just a wretched exercise in horny teenager-style cartooning, it’s also wildly offensive! Just look at how she’s depicted abusing that innocent hand grenade.

Seriously though, rampaging sexism aside, Love Grenade wins top marks–it’s a true accomplishment to  bewilder AND register as blindingly stupid at the same time. A naked woman bound on a food tray with…a grenade in her mouth? That IS a grenade, right? It’s not an under-ripe avocado? Or maybe it’s Ted Nugent’s wallet, fat with all that cash he’s making off another collection of reheated twaddle.

I’m trying hard to figure out what The Nuge is trying to say here–aside from “Hey Kids, here’s a REALLY DUMB record by MEEEEEEE!” And the track listing does nothing to dispel that notion. When you’ve got songs like “Bridge Over Troubled Daughters” and “Broadside” (get it? Huh huh, heh heh, BROAD side…heh heh huh huh) you know you’re not dealing with a Rhodes scholar here.

Whatever happened to the good old days when long haired dorks with guitars sang about SATAN? Continue reading WTF: Ted Nugent Love Grenade

WTF: Worst Album Cover Ever?

worst album cover of all time

I’m not saying a DAMN thing about this album cover except to ask who hates this guy so much that they let him put this photo on the cover without so much as a “Are you SURE?”

I mean, REALLY. This is one of the most cringe-making images used to sell ANYTHING, ever. The name of this record is “I’m Here” but the artwork on this one makes you want to be anywhere BUT here. There have been countless armies of people with bad judgment putting their images on albums for decades, but none so ill-advised or poorly thought out.

It goes without saying that there wasn’t an art director on this…but I hope nobody let this one hit the shelves uncontested. Continue reading WTF: Worst Album Cover Ever?

WTF: Count Your Blessings

wretched album art count your blessings

There’s so much wrong going on here it’s impossible to know where to begin. For starters, the album is by Willie Sutherland. So which one is Willie? They BOTH look like they just got out of an afternoon of shock therapy to cure them of “unfortunate tendencies” towards unchurchly behavior–probably attending R rated movies or wearing provacative beachwear. Can you picture either one of these yokels wearing a speedo? Perish the very idea.

And what’s with the TIES? Are we getting this album done between shifts working for Col. Sanders or what?

Then there’s the inclusion of the child, precariously wobbling on the pew, waiting for the inevitable head injury. Count your blessings? You mean like being able to get this photo snapped before the tragedy? The worst part of ALL this is the track list. It’s nothing but a bunch of copyright free church hymns you’re already forced to sing every Sunday if you’re goofy enough to haul your ass out of bed to hang out with these dorks. So what’s the incentive to BUY this record?

My favorite part about this cover? The sunglasses. I don’t know why, but it makes me think of Twin Peaks–the Horne brothers scheming away at One-Eyed Jacks. Just look at that smarmy face, already thinking about things far away from this awful album cover. Maybe reposessing a trailer house or sneaking off to to naughty things to the 17-year old prom queen working at the Tastee Freeze.

Seriously Bad Album Covers

seriously-bad-album-covers
We here at Turntabling are proud of the little collection of WTF album covers, but Nick DiFonzo’s book really takes the cake. Seriously Bad Album Covers displays 50 years and over 250 pages worth of the worst album covers ever. This import features a whopping 225 covers with a variety of wretched concepts, butt-ugly musicians and rotten excesses. Any vinyl junkie should add this to their collection of vinyl-related ephemera. This is hours and hours of entertainment just waiting to be had.

One day we are hoping that Taschen dedicates one of their luxuriously assembled editions to awful art, but until then this tome is probably THE authority on crapola covers.