Funki Porcini Zombie 12-Inch EP

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funki-porcini-zombieThis 12 inch by Funki Porcini is one of my favorite pieces of vinyl. Inspired by (and sampled from) the Lucio Fulci undead classic Zombie, Funki Porcini’s 12 inch opens with the last thing you hear in the movie–the hambone radio announcer’s newscast. “I’ve just been informed that zombies have entered the building. They’re at the door! YEARRRRRGHHHH!”

Priceless.

This album is a great collection of beats. Perfect for chilled out late night listening with the lights turned down to “seduce” and the atmosphere on “bachelor pad”. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED…if you can find it, that is. And sorry, my copy is NOT for sale.

A completely UNRELATED clip by Funki Porcini here, this is just as atmospheric and cool, and the vid is excellent as well:


Milty Zerostat: For Fanatics Only?

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milty-zerostatDoes anybody reading this blog actually OWN one of these? Behold the Milty Zerostat, advertised as a dust-remover for vinyl records. It shoots out a stream of ions when you pull the trigger–ions that are supposed to rid your LPs of nasty pops and clicks caused by dust (which is attracted by an electrostatic charge on your records).

The Zerostat, according to the marketing hype, removes the electrostatic charge that attracts the dust. Zap the album, clean it off, and play away! So sayeth the hype. Does this actually work? I’d love to get a first-person report. At a triple-digit price tag, this one looks like it’s a collector-only gadget, but I’d love to see it in action and hear the results.

Wanted: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls LP

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For reasons not even J.R. “Bob” Dobbs could possibly understand, I’ve become fixated with finding an LP copy of Russ Meyer’s Beyond The Valley of the Dolls soundtrack. I know I could order this from some schlub on eBay in all likelihood, but I’d rather deal direct with someone who ISN’T charging $75 for it. I want to LISTEN to it, not put it under glass and fondle myself while LOOKING AT IT.

If you have a copy you want to sell, drop me a line on Twitter, I’m at Twitter.com/Turntabling. Thanks in advance!

WTF: Porter Wagoner’s The Bottom of the Bottle

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Porter Wagoner may have been one of the legends of country music, but the dudes who approved the artwork for his records were clearly smoking Jimson weed for this one. Just WTF is going on with this picture, anyway?

Wagoner looks like he’s contemplating drinking this rotgut in spite of the fact that there’s a little man inside. “Hey Porter, over here! Look, you don’t wanna drink this. I just wee’d inside this bottle and it smells like a homeless shelter. Fer chrissakes, Porter…DON’T DRINK MEEEEEEEEE!”

The expression on Porter Wagoner’s face is priceless. It’s a cross between “Goddamn, I really want to tie one on here,” and “I wonder if free will is an artificial construct of the human mind or if it’s a crucial part of what makes our all-too-brief existence what it is?”

Or perhaps it’s kidney stones.